my fingers stars tapping against the cold granite floor
and i sit and wait
i sit
and i wait
so patiently, it kills me
not the waiting part,
well, that too
but also
mostly
the knowledge of knowing
what i'm waiting for
could either bring me
immense joy or sorrow

when i was four saying, "i love you" to mommy was a must.
when i turned seven, love was the boy who tagged everyone else but me. even when i was the slowest runner amongst us players.
then i became fourteen, love became teaching me the math lesson over again because i didn't listen., instead of giving me the homework answers.
and now, i still don't know which love truly is,
but i'm sure of it that
love is the one thing
that's never the same
it's never the same to everyone
it's never the same every time
it's always different
but it's always beautiful.

embrace the awkward moments
they're the ones that always
always teach you a lesson

naked,
          raw,
                vulnerable

"pathetic," i spat.

oh, how so beautifully pathetic i am.

i like the smell of aftershave
but i'm not very fond of the hair stubbles that poke me
i like the smell of coffee
but i'm not very fond of drinking it

she's outspoken
yet she shies away
she's blunt
yet she's some kind of fake
i wonder how vague this girl can get
i just don't understand her

"c'mon! i dare you," i repeat more tauntingly than the last
and pull the trigger, he did.
the gasp i let out echoed.
he couldn't have intended on killing me, right?
that was just to make me suffer a little..
he knew how many bullets there were, right?
"right. there. i just made you suffer a little."
no biggie