you held my hand,
and, with that, my heart skipped a beat.
don't fall in love with me
i whispered.

you showed me the world,
and, with that, my lungs gasped for more air.
don't fall in love with me
again, i whispered.

you took the stars and gave them to me,
and, with that, my knees felt weak.
don't fall in love with me.

i warned you- a lot of times, yes.
but i forgot to warn myself;
i forgot that i am but naive.

and after all my precautions,
it was i who fell.
i fell in love with you.

i grew up in a house of whispers and maybe that's why i still can't talk.
i grew up in a house of "hands to yourself" and maybe that's why i still don't like to be touched.
i grew up in a house of "daddy will visit again soon" and maybe that's why i still don't trust anyone.
i grew up in 6 different houses and maybe that's why i still have trouble calling this house a home.
they say "don't make a home out of a person" but i've never been able to make a home out of a house and i'm sick of being homeless
I GREW UP WAY TOO FAST AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY IM BROKEN.
i grew up in a house of held breaths and maybe that's why i still can't breathe.
i grew up in a house of "don't tell the kids at school" and maybe that's why my shoulders are still heavy.
i grew up in a house that was always empty and maybe that's why i'm still lonely.
i grew up in a house of "i'll be home later" and maybe that's why i still can't sleep.
i grew up in a house of "take care of your brother" and maybe that's why i still can't take care of myself.
i grew up in a house of lost photo albums and maybe that's why i still don't like having my picture taken.
i grew up in a house without any "i love you"s and maybe that's why i still don't love myself.
now i'm growing up in a house of "keep your head down" and "don't make him mad" and maybe that's why i haven't been able to look at anyone.

I've got a war in my mind,
It's making me lose time,
The more I try to get away,
The harder it hits me when I go to bed.

The impact hurts,
It's a white,
Hot
Searing
Pain.

It's hands grasping my collar
Oh so tight,
I just lost all my might.

The brown, hairy hands
Is now squeezing my throat,
And all I hear is
"oh no, darling no"

"WAKE UP!"
I hear my father scream,
And what's that?
Is that my mothers weep?
"She promised she wouldn't"
I hear my brother say
But all I see is a light as bright as day

It whispers my name,
Oh so softly
And I feel myself walking
Free from all worry.

I see the galaxies that used to look upon simple things with beauty collapsing in your eyes
Now you just stare at the wall blankly wondering when it's all going to fall, hoping it crushes you under its weight
I miss how you used to look at me with star dust, we dreamed of a day that the sun would burn out so we could spend the night in each other's arms forever
Why am I trying to find you in the bottom of a drink, in the hands of a stranger, in the bed sheets that reek of cigarettes
I miss your floral scent and your alien eyes, you said we'd fly to Venus where everything was backwards, where we'd be able to stay together
Why did you let them chase you away from me
Why didn't you fight for us
Why didn't I
There was so much we could of done but you're afraid of zero gravity and I'm scared of suffocation
Did I suffocate you with my love when you made me feel like I was floating away
Now you wait for something to crush you and I drink to forget your name only to call it out to someone else
I want to go back to wishing on shooting stars and dreaming of a dark sun
I don't want these cracked ceilings and forgettable nights
I want Venus, where we're still together and galaxies are alive and well