My eyes ache

they weep

a shedding of a tear

like a silent wailing sirens

“Show us your scars”
When they should’ve said shame  

“Point on where it hurts”
Yet they couldn’t find a cure

“Have you been thinking about death?”
Like my thoughts wander to anything else

“Just take this pill in the morning”
But I‘m up every morning

“You’re safe here”
I felt their eyes under my skin

“Have you assaulted anyone in your life?”
Can’t they see that I‘m the victim here

“Can we send you home without worrying?”
As if I can guarantee them my life,
as if I have a home

“Bring your mother with you in the next session”
But I’m in therapy because of her  

“Have you considered electroshock therapy?”
And now they want to cause me more trauma

“How many times have you attempted suicide?”
“Enough times to believe that I have already died” I said finally

Dearest one to my heart
Can you help, I’ve been longing
for every feather of your lashes?

You’ve deserted me,
and I’ve forgotten what
the word warmth meant

Maybe you are  
the word warmth,
or maybe you are
the word silence

I talk to you,
but you don’t talk back  

So instead of melting into
your cruel frigid hands,
I will melt into your deadly silence,
somehow that’s where I found warmth

The unspoken words
grew in my veins till
they intoxicated my mind

A deadly psyche planted inside
a breathing corpse
that’s perpetually dying

The night came in
and devoured me
like a crow
devours its prey

A dark cloud has
hid the sun, and
convinced me that
I wasn’t going to live

Although I can’t see it,
the glittering sun
is still there to kiss my skin
and remind me I exist

Dearest one to my heart,
you’re so far,
and I’ve forgotten what
the word warmth meant

Maybe you are  
the word warmth,

or maybe you are
the word silence

I talk to you,
but you don’t talk back

This heart of mine
remembers you softly

Despite the dagger
you thrusted into it

And the gushing blood
after your departure