I cant do it again,
I only began to feel alive,
and it was so easy to pretend,
that everything you had forgotten was,
well.. temporary.
How could i not notice that you started to forget what i had said,
that repeating my self had become a common occurrence,
I cant do it again,
feeling as though my time with you,
was a heart machine i couldn’t view,
and when you flatlined,
i would fall to my knees,
but a prayer won’t save you,
god has no mercy,
I cant do it again,
I don’t want to dress in the color,
that absorbs happiness and hides emotion,
I don’t want to be encompassed by sunshine,
but feel darkness wherever I walk,
hear about you,
but not be able to see you,
see pictures of you,
but not be able to take one of you,
I cant do it again,
not only I had a wounded heart,
you didn’t just hop off the side of the boat,
but you sunk it,
with everyone waiting on the deck,
hoping that you would come back,
we all knew you had shot a hole,
in the side of the boat,
and as the water slowly inched its way,
from the bottom of our feet,
all the way,
above our heads,
we stayed standing strong,
holding each others hands,
as silence and sadness ,
greif and worry,
flooded our minds,
but don’t worry we survived,
we remember your story ,
every day,
constantly living in your memory,
even though you couldn’t,
but i cant go through it again,
I cant go to school every day,
waiting for a call to the office,
hopping they won’t have anything important to say,
because that would mean it was all ok,
but silently hoping the day had come,
because that day all your suffering would end,
and you’d go into the white light,
see your mom and all your friends,
but if there is one thing i know for sure,
is that I can not do it again.

Heart pounding nonstop 

Feeling I ran sixteen miles

Can't seem to decifrate 

Where your affection lies



Querying who am I 

Long term silence prevails

Things are better off left unsaid



We used to share friendship

Now there's nothing left

Wondering where will you travel

After all this ravel



Observe along your space

Recall your whereabouts

Back when you were just 

A young teenager



You had company,

Someone who cared


That feminine corpse,

Would outsource every fiber of her soul 

To see you whole

Sadly you saw her as

Another to add list of friends role


Meanwhile her heart beat off adrenaline 

And nothing more



Retaining secrecy,

Devoted to destiny,

I'll exit knowing there's nothing else to do,

But to patiently wait for a propitious finale.