do i go on leaving what's behind.
when you still slip my mind sometimes.
his hand is warm enough to melt my heart.
thing is, there's been a hole from the start.
i've never been cared for this way,
maybe i really missed the times when I just insist on doing things my own way.
being a go-getter sure do has it's ups and downs.
i think right now im going through the list that make him frown.
i'm a mess from the beginning.
that's what solidified our understanding.
he's into my mess.
he's always given me his best.
i knew he's into me the way I was to you.
i catch him looking the way I do when I see you.
putting these notes on fire and then i'll put myself out there hanging thin on a wire.
more thinking and more thinking
Happiness is rest on a rainy day.
Happiness is shade on a sunny day at the beach.
Happiness is going home early and there's no traffic.
Happiness is catching up on missed movies.
Happiness is different shades of light.
Happiness is wine and beer at night.
Happiness is a warm hand to hold.
Happiness is having someone by your side to grow old.
Happiness is being happy alone.
Happiness is growing on your own.
dont depend on people for happiness.
How do you go on living.
When I'm out here daily, dying.
I always pick up where you left me.
I always pretend I am happy.
How can you live your life knowing your half is not?
How can you sleep at night when your half nightly sobs.
How do you smile at girls and make them fall?
When the last time I fell, you were the last person to see me crawl.
I'm so sick of living this lie.
None of my friends are left to see me while I slowly die.
I kid myself everyday.
I try to love anyway.
I look for you everywhere.
I'd die to run my fingers on your hair again.
I forget you most of the time.
But when there's something new in my life that I want to share, I always turn around.
And though I am very much aware.
Every time, I still hope that you are standing there.
**** my thoughts.
I guess the hardest part was to look another guy in the eye and tell him you are fine.
When it has always been you and our memories that's flooding my mind.
You know when its real.
Dreams do a better job in making me happy than reality.
I died as soon as I wake.
Don't want to wake up knowing your hand wont be there to lead mine, playing your hair.
****, I miss your touch.
I miss you so bad.
****, you give the softest touch.
I felt secured as you hold my back.
I can walk forever with you by my side.
It felt so real, I dont want to leave.
It felt so real, I just want to stay asleep.
The enemy wont have any hold on me.
The biggest problem is lying within me.
Vices I so excitedly flaunt about.
Thoughts I keep yet have been screaming out loud.
Things I kneel for every night.
Stuff that brings about my every fright.
The enemy does not know ******* me.
And I'd win this battle as greatly expected.
Then I'd die slowly keeping all my secrets slowly stabbing and dragging me.