Here I Am
Committing the same mistakes over and over again
I remember the times when I didn't give a ****
To the people who cared

Here I Am
Being left alone
Feeling sorry for myself
Not because I made mistakes

But I made the same mistake too many times.

One may ask,
For my best poem.
None can be given
As the best one
Is still being written,

Each one I write is great
Until another is made

I’m sorry to all the people
I hurt while I was hurting.
I know my skin
felt like shards of glass,
and no one could get close
enough to touch me.
My fingernails were caked with blood,
and I am so sorry
that I don’t know whose it was.
I am sorry to those I broke
with my razor words,
they were my own regrets.
They were used to cut open
my own insecurities
when I thought I had run out.
I was lost
in a forest of my own doubt,
the trees were too dense
to believe
in myself.
The only way to find my place
was with a paper cut trail
leading to my home of denial.
My brain was shreds of late reports
and missed deadlines,
and I was just an inkblot of a person,
all I could see was my own skeleton in the pages.
I do not know how to send this apology
without it soaked in my tears,
but I am sorry,
I
am
so
s o r r y

im sorry

im sorry for the bottles of emotion ive kept hidden

im sorry for forgetting to call

im sorry for scaring you when darkness found me again

im sorry for always being too late, never too early, nor on time

im sorry I had to leave my shell behind

im sorry i can’t be strong for you. that i can’t stop relapsing.

im sorry
im sorry

You trapped me inside a cage
laughing at me as I struggled to escape
and we both knew
there was only one way out.