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Nikki No Love Feb 2019
Growing up is finding out the real world is cruel
Growing up is finding out what you once knew isn't real
Growing up is realizing a movie or fairy tail
Growing up is learning to hurt, and learning to fail.

Growing up is truly learning how to fake a smile
Growing up is finding out your grandfather is a *******
Growing up is finding out your family hates you for something you cannot control
Growing up is going to the mines so you can support your hateful family by mining coal

Growing up is coming to terms with death
Growing up is learning your mother does ****
Growing up is realizing your father is abusive
Growing up is forever being inconclusive

Growing up is pain
Growing up is hate
Growing up is raze
Grown-up is a four letter word.
For anyone who follows me regularly I apologize for being gone so long, I just wasn't as inspired to write. Also, I am not really back, I'm sorry if you really like my work, but I'm just not as inspired as I was. But thank you so much for enjoying my work and I hope you like this one
Nikki No Love Sep 2018
Bombs around me
Earth surrounds me
I battle in my own coffin made of dirt
Disease runs rampant through
Down around the trench, my tomb
My heart empty, all I feel is hurt
My emotions elude me
My ideas confuse me
I stand as a man I don't know bleeds on my shirt
He tried to **** me
I have no will to be!
I hear nothing but the blasting turret

Flashing in my eyes
A worthless life of 19 years
Fear in my head, fear in my heart
Wish I was dead, I might make my brain art.....
On the wall
Briefing, gunshots pounding,
The world mangles my mind into mush
It forces me to unwillingly rewind
I can't ******* rest, I want my blood to rush
There's a man with a gun behind
I can't take it, I'd rather be ******* dead!!
Meanwhile the demons scream from inside my head
Nikki No Love Jul 2018
Alone in your thoughts
Hanging from your cross
The time washes over you
The tourture of nothing brews
Why is it there?
People die elsewhere
Why is it you're bored
Inside your head you hoard
An active mind
That's uninclined
Off in nowhere
Doing nothing
It's real short. Boredom is something I find fascinating.
Nikki No Love Jul 2018
It tooks so long to realise
To see it how it is with your eyes
It started but never stoped
The cycle continuing as more people adopt.

A down-ward-spiral
A poisonous plauge
A spiteful tittle
It makes you beg.

It starts with toxic ideals
And young innocents it steals
Then it lasts for generations
Staying with people's fixation
Its almost like.. recreation.

"I went through this, so can you"
"I fought a war, you can too"
"Get off your *** and be what I do"
"You're as worthless as the gum on my shoe"

And so continues the cycle of abuse
Until someone sees the nature of this noose
After torturous thoughts relentlantly pursues
And the cycle of broken homes and tourcherd souls, ends
And health becoming the new trend.
Nikki No Love Jul 2018
Tears in the skin
Tears from your sins
Tears in the mind
Tears from what lies behind.

Cut from within
Cut in your skin
Cut down your wrist
Life is so brisk
You like the risk.

They say "sticks and stones may break my bones"
But their the ones who always had homes
"Words will never hurt me"
What if you just left them be?

Deep cuts in the thighs
Deep cuts from your lies
Cut from what you realise
People are evil in my eyes
Hold my hands behind my back with ties

Sticks and stones will break my bones.
Your words will tear my head, my heart; tear my skin.
And I reflect what you have said; your sins.
Nikki No Love Jul 2018
Within the shadow of a false icon,
Which hangs over me like fallen titans,
The ones who in the darkness of ignorance wore capes and flew,
But now wear maniacal grins and snarl to.
The same person who used to make you want to say live,
Now only force you to to spell it backwards and with yourself become more combative.

He says he misses me,
But that would make three,
Me, mom and The Monster,
He says "straighten your postue"
I miss the days I could look past your hypocrisies,
Back when I could look at your  and think "these are the right policies "
In my time of need,
You can't seem to see,
Your voice make me bleed,
You're whose killing me

To be stuck in a house, but not a home,
Trapped inside not a shrine, but a tomb,
Imprisoned by the voice that used to be that of ideology and hope,
Which is now the voice of the hate that hangs me like a rope,
The voice that tears my mind in two,
One side screaming "you are wrong," and I should be rejecting you,
The other side creeping and deafaningly whispers I am the infection, adieu.
This is a poem about my dad..I know a lot of people feel like this..hope it helps someone. Also I think this is my longest poem yet.
Nikki No Love Jul 2018

False with identity,
I am the enemy,
The false human,
The imitation alien,
A curse upon our sweet Terra,
A false partner under Herra.

I am unlike the rest,
I am a fake,
I do not matter,
And I shall fade.
This is how I feel a lot. I hope it helps someone, maybe..
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