I advocate words of inspiration and truth
But deep inside my mind resides the voices that whisper lies that drift to the surface that I try to keep hidden, and it's so difficult to act when you can't even convince yourself the role you play. And there, just hovering, those words shall simply remain for me to dwell upon.

I wear a smiling mask
And I can put on a decent act,
Until what is bottled up inside
Spills out from the tiny cracks.

The morning brings renewal
And the stream of sunlight
Washes away
The tears of yesternight

Let me OD on the ecstacy you give me

In this field where red roses die,
turns black and shrivels and dry,
Is where tulips thrive,
Yellow and white they multiply,
Dyed grey is the sky,
As storm clouds roll by,
An icy wind bites, despite
The raging fire inside.
Here, love is despised
As all is deprived.
This is where dreams, hope, and desire
Shall meet its demise
In solitude, due time.

Even now, even if I keep what is written to myself, I cannot help but hold back.
It is all I've ever done, all I've ever known.
Symphonies in my mind,
entire stories, movies unable to be unleashed.
Masterpieces longing to break free.
All stuck, trapped in my head.
Scared to admit what lies and hides inside me to the world and myself.
Enveloped in a blanket of numbness, the fiery passion dwindling.
You being my inspiration,
But lacking the will and strength to write.

A recurring chant.
One that makes many of those who suffer
Compulsive liars
whether it be towards others
or themselves.