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Waken from death, out of a car
he crawled out of the burning inferno.
Wincing and groaning, regretting the bar
this man would soon come to know.

Sped back to the bar, from which he came
to toss fortune, ranted, and blame.
For he lost his job, his favorite career,
he ordered another cold beer.

Sober settled in, his head was clear
back to his house, to his dear.
Caressing, kissing, comforting her
that he would be back, in a blur.

Proud and humble his kids thought
of their dad who never seemed distraught.
Hugged and loved his little bugs,
they each got him 'Best Dad' mugs.

Seeping in slowly, something was wrong
it was almost as if he didn't belong.
It hit him like a giant boulder,
he would no longer be getting older.

Watching his life behind the eyes of a ghost
was when he felt it the most.
He had just lived his life in reverse,
it must have been a dreaded curse.

Flooded by memories, of love and pain
the last thing he remembered drove him insane.
Looking down at his cell phone light,
his last ****** expression showed great delight.

His wife had texted, "I love you sweetie."
as his heart was filled with glee.
Trying to respond, he didn't see
he would pay tribute to an oak tree.
Here lies a scar
a short cut to a shortcut
on the journey home
to the heart
I almost died trying to
find a way out of myself
to release my own demons
free the inside of me
in the split second
of a split vein
the moment i almost lost
all of my moments
the breath of life
i realized its importance
there is no easy way out
you will hurt the ones you love
when you are here now
then suddenly gone tomorrow
there is no easy way in
there will always be trauma
that aches beneath the skin
things you want to escape from
escape into
life is full of paradoxes
you want to live
but self sabbatoge your life
though the same God
who created the stars
created you
you feel yourself undeserving
to be among the living
Yet you are here
In almost giving it away
I learned life is a gift
i must not squander it
eventhough I feel squandered by it at times
that I am wasting my time
These ill feelings pass
and ill get past my past
and the future will at last
be the last thing I grasp
my last will and testament
that I faced the present
my sadness, my fears, my anxieties
deep depression
fought them all tooth and nail
raised hell
to be comfortable in my shell
accept myself
And I outlasted it
won the battle
Lived
Survived
Thrived.
I am here.
One of my goals in life has been to become a person who advocates for the mentally ill and helps end the stigma attached to mental health, especially within the african american community, one of the largest groups of people that reject mental health services. One of the ways I do this, is through sharing my own trials and triumphs. I am deciding to be brave today, take a deep breath....and live
People think I am so strong.
"No matter what you go through",
They say,
"You continue to smile. You never give up!"

What they don't know, is that my 'strength' is a weakness.
My 'strength' is forgetting.

I unintentionally forget the words, the situations, the people that cause me pain.

I forget the good.
I forget the bad.
I forget everything.

That's how I cope.
That's how I move on.
That's how I'm still alive.

So no, I am not strong.

Im merely just doing what I have to
to survive.
1.15.17
Some people are like rain
and others are like snow.
Some will make your petals wilt,
and some will help you grow.
12.6.16
Sometimes..
I am too needy
Too dependent
Too emotional

Sometimes..
I am too kind
Too vibrant
Too delusional

Sometimes..
I am too intrigued
Too clingy
Too infatuated

Sometimes..
I am too bold
Too honest
Too complicated

Sometimes..
I feel alive
But most times I don't

Sometimes..
It's hard just to stay afloat

Love is like water
And I'm dying from thirst
Sometimes, just sometimes..
I want to be put first
1.23.17
 Jan 2017 Brian Foote
F White
My fear is a pool
Ripples washing ; the wind is deepening.
This ebbs with the moon if I can freeze my reality
But
Radio is the enemy
TV is a liar
I wake up every minute wishing I were dreaming.
1984- 2017
a new world awakening and inside
I am
Screaming.
Copyright fhw 2017
 Jan 2017 Brian Foote
lirau
she has a really flat face like someone kicked a soccer ball into it so he’d call her Soccerball Face
and so
he’d come over to my house
and draw pictures of her and just leave them around
and write poems
he’d just write over and over
“LOVE CAN BE PAINFUL.”
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