Now and then
I take a nap
A nap on the couch
It’s that or pretend I am paying attention.
To accelerate a reluctant somnolence
I return to another house
A house very far away
And in the past
Where my mother is busy in the kitchen.
While I doze off my jet lag in the closet she calls a bedroom
The almost rhythmic sounds of her kitchen are a sleeping draught
A draught so powerful no ****** competes.
I wonder now if she knew.

Soft curdled interior now at its eutectic
Holds a bifurcated square of gluten
Equally carbonized together
In an **** of ill-advised but sensual nutrition

There’s stasis on the freeway
A backup from the bridge
An accident in the tunnel
I left my lunch in the fridge

Grey cars with no lights
Vanish in the mist
A November Oregon morning
I remember that we kissed

The parking lot is crowded
The storm surges blow after blow
Two trucks block my progress
You’ll miss me when I go?

I leave the car in limbo-land
I give a street kid a tip
There’s a long walk to the office
Your taste lingered on my lip

Another dreary screen day
Click once here for madness
Scroll your life to hell
Did we really do our best?

I left my lunch in the fridge
I remember that we kissed
You’ll miss me when I go
Your taste lingered on my lips
Did we really do our best?

A little taste of tarmac, Bobby
Let me spin my wheels
A little taste of the long flat road
I’ve forgotten how it feels

A little taste of tarmac, Bobby
Make my chainwheel hum
A little taste of the up hill grind
Thirty miles and some

A little taste of tarmac, Bobby
Way out among the farms
A little taste of dust on your lips
My metal soul would calm

Climb up onto the saddle, Bobby
Clip into the pedals tight
Feel my frame respond to you
You always crank me right

Stay with me in the saddle, Bobby
Our ride will be as sweet
As the wash of lactic acid
From your shoulders to your feet

It’s good with you on my saddle, Bobby
I know you feel the same
You push my pedals hard now
And laughing call my name

Lean easy in those corners, Bobby
Accelerating the while
My frame is all aglow now
On your face I sense a smile

Flying home with you, Bobby
You get the adrenaline kick
It makes you sprint the last half mile
And smooth out the left hand flick

A little taste of tarmac, Bobby
I am waiting stem unbowed
Come find me soon and ride me
Before my rims corrode

A little taste of tarmac, Bobby
Make me spin my wheels
A little taste of any road
Or forget how good it feels.

There are four giant kerosene kettles
Tied to the wings
Of the machine
In which I sit.
Voices speak in the air
Confident and bland.
The owner of one of the voices
Sets fire to the kettles
And the whole machine leaps
Into the air
Me with it.
We all pretend it’s OK
And sit quietly
Until the voices speak again
And tell us
The fire is out
And we can leave
Into a strange city
Or home.

Yeah right! I was trying to do this the other day, but I got confused about how I was supposed to know in which moment I was going to live. They all speed by so fast. I could not pick out the one in which I was surely ‘meant’ to live. So I tried to envision my moment as a big red London bus which would soon appear around a metaphysical corner with its number and destination board clearly marking it as my bus, my moment, into whose creative interior I could throw my whole existence and for who really knows how long actually LIVE! But fate decided that all the buses are the same, and I hang around the bus stop with my head snapping from one horizon to the other as one conductor after another raises a quizzical eyebrow as he flies by. I want to get on, I want to get on, and obey that wise imperative…

a. …I jumped on the very next bus and found it was already full of passengers wondering how in hell they could get off without paying the fare.
b. …I jumped on the very next bus and at that moment its number and destination board came in to sharp and comforting focus.

Working under a cloud of sadness
Cleaning a mother’s home
After their death.
All the familiar objects
Are so much heavier
Loaded with emotion
Triggered by every trinket touched.
And the unfamiliar
Items never seen before
Not really secret
But secretive
Shed an unfamiliar light
Or a tragic one
On the lost life.

Add some desire you had
For resolution
Or proof of affection
A letter un-mailed, explaining…
Everything, less,
Or adding further mysteries.
Photos signed with a revealing scrawl
In a curious masculine hand.
And flowing in your mind
As you reduce a life to a list
For disposal, dispersal
A certainty
A knowing
That what you see is not the whole
The whole life


There’s something missing
That might explain
Her wistful expression
Her unexpressed longing,
The aura of regret,
You recall it easily.
A perfume of disappointment
Lingering.

And when you finally
Discover her dark journals
Her writing, but reflecting a stranger
A talent, a power, a presence
Never revealed, never known
But rich and sharp
With bright witty language
You understand this is a set of wings
Dusty with neglect
Heavy with melancholia
Unused wings.