you ask if it's okay
if it's wrong, if i'm fine

i say it's alright
and again i'm too kind

so you speak his name
of the new love you'll find

because you've moved on
left your feelings behind

you say you still care
"also"...you remind

but our hearts are still broken
our lives still entwined

I broke up with her
for good reason
but now all I can really do is remember how good we were.

I try so hard to remember her flaws and faults: how selfish and narcissistic she could be. how her loyalties were elsewhere. how I was never enough.

but they don't compare when I remember: how she kissed me around strangers, and ran after my train every single time, just to be a goofball and show the world that I was hers. how she could make me feel better by just being there.

I try my best to ignore her but even if I don’t see or talk to her for weeks she’s still in my mind, always, because I can find her in everything.

I find her when I smell her perfume or see something from Nevada, when I eat Twix and ignore the word mhm and the colors blue and green. When I make mac n cheese and eat all of it. when I go to school and when I come home. and whenever I see a rose, especially if it's red.

I don’t know how people can give someone so much of themselves and then have their heart broken. I gave her pieces of me that I can never get back and I don’t know how to continue being Sammy without those pieces.

For the moment I am content
But I know it won't last.
Soon I'll be cast away at last
Reality's been bent
from all the time spent
fighting with feelings that dried like cement.
I don't know where to go
or what choice to make
Because it all might be fake
And there's no way to know.
I could ask her, although,
She might ask for a break.

millions of souls starving for a taste of humanity - obsessed with the desire to fill any empty space they can find - a neurotic pattern can be found within this society - the open and shut of relationships like a kitchen door - you see nothing more than a glimpse of everything and everyone - genuine and candid have bee erased from the dictionary - forever no longer means 'for always' -