Why can't I seem to ever be enough?
You tell me I'm wonderful, smart, beautiful, caring,
but then you turn around and act like we never had a thing
that we didn’t run away into the night full of adventures and wonder...
I wonder..
Was it ever real to you?

Grab your pitchforks run him outta town,
only because his skin is brown.
If he knocks on the door don't let him in,
only because he lacks white skin.
Punch his face with a bang and a whack
only because his skin is black.
Pull out your gun shoot him in the head,
only because he grows his dreads.
Lock him in jail for nothing bad,
call him a loser and a deadbeat dad.

If you don't think you've gone too far,
you're wrong, your soul's as black as coal tar.

sometimes I wonder why i bother because sometimes it's so easy to just hold it all in, you know, like a tidal wave that pulls back so far that the power it finally unleashes is more pent up and crazy, but that's the thing see i don't want to unleash i don't want to destroy i want to create i want to feel i want to be i want to hold in my hands the way to keep myself whole my identity my very being that i keep trying so hard to find in other people and realizing i have to make myself but it just pulls me down when i know who i am finally and realize that i want to give part of that away but i cant i cant i just want to slice off a piece for you to keep safe and away from my impulses and fears but somehow that's too hard because if you saw how repulsive the real me really is i think you'd honestly run and hide and i don't know if i could take that not here not now and maybe not even ever just simply because you're too far in now you're too huge a part of my life to just up and leave and since the decision lies in my hands i'm so torn because i want you and i want you to stay but inside is all the tearing which i thought had been let go you said you had let me go like i had let you go it wasn't a matter of being able to but rather of giving the other person the leave to begin again, to not be selfish and let them start over and she took it from me and i don't know how to keep going because i'm still ******* in the past and trying to lasso the future and how does the correspondence even work when i just want to live but can't because i see it every day and think of that every night and the two just don't mix like oil and water they pool away from each other and that's frankly the only reason that i can't claim right now that i am or ever will be whole.

Every time,
a child picks up a pebble.
Nature ready for the catch..

You asked me to tell you what scared me.
As I described my worst fear in detail to you, your eyes went wide.
You even gasped.
But the funny thing, is that you never told me yours.
Which means I must not be part of it.

You flatter yourself by thinking those harsh words were about you.
You don't mean enough to me for me to set aside time to write about you, let alone think about you.

Bombs cannot destroy love
just as love cannot bomb anyone.

I can't sleep
The horrible news is bothering me
My fellow Filipinos in Marawi
Are being attacked by Maute Group/ISIS
They are burning down the place
The houses, the hospitals, the churches
And if you can't prove that you are a Muslim
They'll take you as a hostage
Those who don't wear hijabs "are taken care of"
Horrible, really horrible
My fellow filipinos there are suffering
Muslims and non-muslims
It's not supposed to be about religion
It's supose to be being people, human
It's suppose to be "humanity"



*"Save me from people of the world" Psalm 17:14

It's horrible, really horrible. How can these people be so cruel?? It's really scary, really scary