Billy Tolosa: Favorites

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

I write

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

Gods1son

I write

I write poetry
I create written scenery
I allow my heart overflow on the paper
Sometimes, I adopt different persona
I put myself in other people's shoes
Just to see from different views...
Not always easy to share how I feel
and not easy to bottle all within
So, I write...
A new page, a new scene
A new theme
A new scheme
But always the same chills

We write how we feel on paper to feel some ease. Sometimes, we create mental pictures and pen it down. Other times, we write based on what we see happen to others or in the society.

#write #poetry #persona #emotions #feeling

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

My Love♡

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

Jasmin jazz

My Love♡

My love is a true one.
But now I'm alone
He is not gone
Now we are one

He gave me promises
That I'll be his missis
I love to have his kisses
But I always misses

You are at a distance
By saying a sentence
You broke my resistance
And denied my persistence

Those powerful words
Get into my world
"I don't know you
But I Love You..."

I love you too
Now we are not two
We will be one
In front of everyone..

For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow..

#feeling #love #missing #beloved #true #mad

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

Lost in Translation

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

Ralph Bobian

Lost in Translation

What can I tell you
About how I feel?
I can express that I'm aware
of each one of my emotions..
And that I know I need to heal.
I can tell you exactly where they came from
And what exactly caused them.
I can describe the unbearable pain they've given
And that I'm working to resolve them
I can explain in the most specific
and descriptive ways
How hard it is to face these emotions,
Each and every day.
I can weave my words on how I feel,
In ways no one else can say
Just to make you comprehend the stress
That my mind and body pays

I’m a thousand miles from my own words
But the first to understand
It's like I'm fixing you a puzzle,
But the pieces are too far
from my reaching hand.
It's like I'm writing you a story,
But run out of ink to write the end.
It's like I'm without a paintbrush
While I paint an image in your head

So although I'm self-aware
Of every emotion that I've expressed..
I'd rather be completely clueless,
And unaware instead.

Even though I can explain my emotions
Down to the finite and specifics,
Even though
I can admit that I know
That I've become undone
and feel unfinished..
this entire time
I know you’ve tried
But there's a point that you've been missing.
I want so badly to feel completed
But the tools required

...are non-existent.

I feel everyone has a hard time expressing their emotions or even admitting or knowing that they need healing. What I find even harder, being VERY self-aware of what's going on or knowing that things need to get better, and then you don't know how. That *****. This is for everyone lost in their own translation

#stress #pain

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

45 Miles Apart

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

Iskra

45 Miles Apart

Laying in my bed curled up
Acid in my throat because I didn’t eat
Clenching my fists around my blankets because I can’t sleep

Are you thinking of me?
Laying in a tent, uncomfortably,
Snuggling close to your fluffy white dog or your younger brother to stay warm.

Are you missing me?
No. Not the way I’m missing you
You’re not thinking of me the way I’m thinking of you
And though it means the world to me that a beautiful soul like yours is friends with a storm cloud like me, it shatters my heart into thousands of sharp, jagged pieces that you’re
~ just ~
my friend.

“I’m sorry but I need to know, is it mutual? It’s alright if it’s a no, I can handle it, I just want you...to be honest”
A pause...
Then the raindrop falls.
“Right now, it’s a no”

Ripples.
Right now.
Right now.
Right now.
No.
No.
No.
STOP.
I care about you so much, I know I need to let you go, so you would never read this, and I would never show anyone this.
It’s all swirling around in my chest, faster and faster until it explodes, word ***** and tears.
I love you.

I didn’t tell you I loved you, only that I had feelings for you.
Why bother? It would’ve made things more painful for me, more bitter for you.

But I can’t show you this.
I don’t want you to change.
I don’t want you to change the way you speak to me, to change your mind when you’re about to type a heart emoji,
to stop yourself after just saying “goodnight” and leave out the “baby”

This is my undoing, not yours, and I want you to keep letting me be your anchor, your shoulder, your shield, my open arms waiting to catch you when you tumble from your flight.
I can’t keep loving you, I can’t stop loving you.
I want to stop feeling at all.

Thank you all so much for all your compassion and the amazing comments. Your kindness brought me to tears. I’d send hugs and healing (if I could) to those of you who commented because you’re experiencing the same thing right now, and I promise you, even though it hurts like hell now, it does get better.

#unrequited #letter #heartbreak

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

Delicate

Oct 2018 Billy Tolosa

Alya Adzkia

Delicate

I never knew
that the sound of those raindrops
on my window
the scent of wet soil
after rain
the melodies of these songs
on my spotify playlist
could remind me of you

remind me of the sound of
your lovely laughter
remind me of the scent of
your sweet perfume
remind me of the sound of
your sleepy voice

— I never knew
that missing you
could be this tough.

tu me manques.

#dailypoem #longlostpoem #love #lost #miss #tumemanques #relationship #dailypoetry