there are days when the sun
hides behind curtains of cotton candy.

she's afraid of being judged too.
she thinks the moon won't like her.

on other days though,
she doesn't care.

she pushes through the cloudy barrier,
and shines.

she doesn't realise
that there's an entire solar system
cheering her on.

that people live for the days
where she appears
bringing happiness with every ray of sunshine.

- v.m

he's always in a hurry
terrified to die
he wants to be everywhere in the shortest amount of time
the eyes always on his watch


                       tick tack - tick tack


never sitting still
always in motion
not stopping, not breathing
his life is running out of time

It's okay
I'm used to being ignored
to not having any friends
only people who act like they care

It's okay
I know every excuse
someone came up with
to not spend any time with me

It's okay
I know I'm only good
when you're alone and need someone to talk
when you're feeling left out

It's okay
I'm used to being ignored
I'm used to being alone
I'm used to spending every day in my room
feeling anxious
and wondering what I did wrong.

One day, 6 years ago
suddenly it was there
I didn't see it coming
it crawled under my skin
into my head
settled in my thoughts

One day, 6 years ago
I started to feel
how no one should feel
ugly
unworthy
unlovable
suddenly I felt uncomfortable
in my forever home

One day, 6 years ago
my skin
my own body became my prison
my head
my own thoughts felt like hell

One day, 6 years ago
I stopped
eating
sleeping
I became someone
I never imagined to be

One day, 5 years ago
I somehow started to recover
I learned to be good on my own
that I don't need anybody
I recovered on my own

One day, 4 years ago
I realized
those thoughts and habits never left
but it didn't matter
I somehow managed to live with them

One day, 3 years ago
those thoughts became worse
I hid them
no one was allowed to see all this
all this **** that's going on in my head

One day, 2 years ago
I lost every loved one
I felt like I'm losing myself
still with a smile on my face

One day, 1 year ago
I realized how bad i became again
I realized I never truly recovered
my mind was hell itself

One day, today
I haven't become better
but that is not my worst
I want to become better
I truly want to become better.

The clerk behind the coffee counter,
she stares out the window
onto the sunny street, lost in thought.
Her half smile on that young face
is an art exhibit of a daydream
about a possible future.
An old woman at a nearby table,
she stares out the same window.
Her eyes glossed over,
they indicate she's remembering
the good moments long past.
The coffee shop daydreamers
have much in common.

-Ron Gavalik