They may think I'm not over you
because of this I write,
but trust me when I say I'm through
there wouldn't be anything you could say or do
I'll admit I'm a little bit bitter
BUT WHAT THE ****!!!, you're just a QUITTER
It's like your new jacket is missing the zipper
just like how you expected it to be there
I expected you to show me you still care
but instead I got derailed & thrown off track
blaming me for things YOU  really lack
& letting what we had slip through the crack
I will never ever come back
our break was my cue
I tried as hard as I could using all my might
but even still nothing I did was right
When little things began to spark a fight
We'd argue until each of our faces were blue
the relationship slowly tearing at the seam
we were no longer a team
but you pretended to have no clue
that's the moment I knew my worst fear was about to come true
the end to our seven years was near in sight
nothing could fix us not nails nor glue
I just need to let go & walk away, it's long overdue
this is the beginning to something new
my heart will heal over time
& loving you wasn't a crime
but being blinded by love only myself I can blame
I lost who I was along the way
I learned from it & I have no shame
but there is one more thing I'd like to say
I may have been your first
but I will never be your last
I'd rather live forever cursed then repeat the past...

Every night as I lay here in my bed
Attempting to sleep with my eyes tightly shut, although they seem open instead
There's too much chatter going on in my head
I feel out of my mind & yet I'm trapped inside
I'm searching for the chatters end but it's hopeless because that I'll never find
It just never quits & that's what drives me so mad, I just want to shout
"Ahhhhh!!!! LET ME OUT, LET ME OUT!!"
But why bother, that never seems to work
So inside here forever stuck, I'll aimlessly lurk
Peaces out & you couldn't even tell
Only because I've perfected disguising it so well
Yes, I'm sure by now I've got you slightly concerned if I'm sane
But only I know that & that's now my secret it'll remain
So just ignore my pointless rambles & confusing rhymes
They'll just get more twisted by the time I've finished all the lines
Only a few will get the well hidden but true meaning & understand
That's exactly how I like it & just what I planned
Still, you think you get what I'm saying or what I wrote
But that's like a boat with a huge hole claiming it can float
You're just pretending to know
In reality, you don't though!!! ;)

One question with answers that are never quite the same
Constantly changing, like a bi-polar mood ring
Does it exist, Heaven & Hell
After our time has reached its end & goodbye is waved
Will our soul rise above into the sky?
Or quickly be dropped beyond the dirt in your fiery domain in the ground?

Your actions& choices while living, so "they" say, are the reasons to blame
For your souls eternal bliss or its endless suffering
BUT to just anyone your soul you won't sell
The fear of being cleared of you existence & permanently erased
So will you go to Heaven or Hell after you die
....Maybe you'll end up lost & in between, earth bound

SO...DOES Heaven & Hell really exist
Don't be fooled & let your thoughts be easy to twist
Some will argue that YES, of course it does!!
& others believe there isn't now nor there ever was
But either way you believe in whatever you want to
You better not let anyone tell you what to do!!
Personally, who really & truly knows where anyone, in the end, actually goes
Anyways...why worry, now, about that
You're living NOW! In the PRESENT! so enjoy it wherever you're at!!

Your body's shaking
Inside you're slowly breaking
You're out of control
& falling further down the hole
Bottom is approaching so fast
Worse than times past
Have I gone too far???
I feel so bizarre
My head says stop
My body's about to drop
I won't let it win
After all..... I am the one who let it in
I can easily throw it out
But that I doubt
Slow it down & take it easy
Eat something so you're not queasy
Watch your weight
Or they'll question when's the last time you ate??
Questions will arise
& the truth is covered with little white lies
Reality is they have no clue
On what you actually do
You hide your secret well
No on can even tell
Still no excuse
For excessive use
Don't lose your grip
It's all over once you slip
When it started out just for fun
You don't want to be out of your mind spun
Don't shorten your life with the risks you take
Be wise with the choices you make!

A wild child, a free spirit
Her laughter is contagious
Once you hear it
The happiest girl you'll ever meet
But watch out, she only wears socks, so don't step on her feet!!!

She lives life on the edge
To live it up is her pledge
She's so vivacious
& some may think she lives much too dangerous
People's opinions don't affect her days
She continues to live her carefree ways

Although she seems to be vanishing from our sight
Something just isn't right
Her frame is gauntly & frail
Less then 100lbs now on her scale
Don't you dare ask her if she's sick
Or mention her arms being thin like a stick
She'll deny anything & say she's fine
Even though in the bathroom, a few minutes ago, she did a line

She still seems the same
Rumor is, drugs are to blame
But what is strange
Nothing is different except her weight change
So the truth really is unclear
But they'll always think the worst fear

No matter what is fake or true
People will always have an opinion about you
So continue doing whatever it is you like
All those haters can go take a hike
Looks can be deceiving
& the wrong message people can be receiving
Just keep your head held high so you wont fall flat
Because it is what it is & that is that!!

My thoughts may drift off throughout the day, I'm a dreamer what can I say??
But firmly on the ground my feet do stay
That I won't deny , no need to lie
There's more to me than what meets the eye
So look beyond what your eyes can see,
Before you go assuming & judging me
Regardless though I'll still continue on peacefully & worry free
That's just how I am, I just be!!

Here I am again, at the point of no return
I never do seem to learn
.....man oh man do my eyes burn
Another day watching the sunrise
But to me it's no surprise
How fast the hours pass through the night
& I'm just fine with that, no reason to put up a fight
I'm sure others don't think it's right
& it's just a big mistake
That I choose to stay awake
But that's a risk I'm willing to take
So for goodness sake
Give me a ******* break
Not the same you & me
My eyes look beyond what yours see
My soul is peaceful & free
Unlike you, I know how to JUST BE...