Here I am back at it once more
So many thoughts & random words then before
Piles of crumpled paper litter the floor
DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging on my door
To my notebooks I am a slave
Their pages filled with thoughts I must forever save
There are memories of dancing at a rave
& times when my friends & I would misbehave
Pages & pages of things I am not sure if I wish to be told
While other pages, stories begin to unfold
All the memories & thoughts throughout my years, is what each notebook forever will hold
Time carries on & I'll share the stories those pages contain when I'm old
But for now I guard them with my life & hold them tight
I have to keep them tucked away out of sight
I'm not quite ready to share all the things I write
Or explain reasons why I'm awake all night
So I'll continue to disappear into my room & hide
It is to my notebooks I truly do confide
The pages always catch my tears, after moments I've broken down & cried
They've helped me deal with people I trusted but then they lied
Most of all, made me realize you can't save them all, no matter how hard you tried
It's like a therapy session with no therapist
Expressing onto paper instead of using my fists
Pages collect the issues & not a single one is missed
That's why I have peace within & always happy..... To me it's pointless to be or stay ******!!

Out of my head I've spun
& to think I've only just begun
Too much to do & see, I'm having too much fun
I'm not even close to being done

All my personalities are starting to shine
& NO, I'm not crazy, really I'm fine
My personalities are just a hobby of mine
They do their best to stay on their side of the line

A best friend to share the madness that I can't contain
Each days adventures create memories & more happiness we gain
Even through the craziest missions, still BFFs we remain
Our lives are exciting & fun, very far from plain

Remember, if you can, to take risks & laugh a lot
Don't be greedy, instead make the most & the best from what you've got
Never regret the things you've done, whether it was bad or not
Everything happens for a reason, just don't forget the lesson you were taught

Now that that has been said
& I've written enough with my colorful ink pens, of course never any pencil lead
My mind is finally a bit more quiet since I've cleared my head
By creating some interesting poems to someday be read!

If you don't care enough to do all you can to make me want to stay......
I'm better off going astray....
I know you'll regret it someday....
& that you could careless with what I have to say....
Karmas a *****, remember that okay???
Because later you'll realize that I was the one you let get away!!!!

As it runs through my veins
Rearranging thoughts in my brain
Things I cannot contain
Reasons that will remain
Unknown & nameless
Like a one hit wonder, who thought he was famous
It's an amazing feeling
That leaves me tingly from floor to ceiling
Puts me in such a happy place
That a permanent smile stays on my face
Peace is a sensation so amazing & sweet
That I'm lifted right off my feet
& everything is always kept so neat
No one will ever tell why
Hehehe....I feel like a secret spy
The truth will not be exposed
Because that's how it goes
Kept so deep inside
From the world it will hide
It's safe there, with no judgment
Roaming in solitary confinement
The day it's set free
Will be the time it says goodbye to me
But that day is far away
So until it comes, we'll continue to play!!!

A chance you blindly took
Without even giving it a second look
Left you slightly damaged & bruised
Feeling twisted & used
Words not said,& answers that only confused
Like a fool, your heart was played
Too many years you stayed
But as the memories begin to fade
You became more wise
Quick to spot deception & lies
There's nothing now, that comes to be a surprise
There's just something's you can't deny
No matter how hard you try
You simply can't save everyone
Sometimes you just have to let go, walk away & be done...

The mistress of the night
Always appears when the time is right
She knows how to make you feel one-hundred times better than just alright
But with fair warning, don't get at all attached, she'll be gone before the morning light
Vanishing quickly, out of sight
The secret rendezvous is safe with her, her lips are sealed tight
That way nothing is said & there won't be any cause for a fight
You may not have had the pleasure of her company just yet but maybe, one day, if you're lucky you just might!! ;)

You're losing your control
The nothingness is gaining on your soul
It's like electricity traveling through a telephone wire
Or a rapid spreading fire
Don't you dare ******* blink
Faster & faster, it's all starting to sink
Still hopelessly you sit plucking the petals from flowers
Tick, tick the hands won't stop the hours
Over & over & over the words you consistently recite
You're hoping that last petal ends up right
There's a 50 percent chance of it ending "...loves you not"
Irritating you extremely & making you very distraught
Screams & rants of anger is what we hear
Sights of ending this obsession are nowhere near
The flowers are trembling & dying
If they had eyes, now would be when they're crying
Oddly enough, you're steady & not once lost focus
Like I mentioned earlier, she's pathetic & hopeless
As all the wrong petals now litter the entire path
Since that's how she's convinced she'll find her better half
....like a snail, she's going nowhere awfully fast
Seriously, how much longer will her shenanigans last?!
Please be informed: IN ORDER TO LIVE, YOU GOT TO MOVE YOU FEET!
If you don't, then not a single soul you'll meet
Of course it'll take time, you won't win right away
But I promise you, that's perfectly okay
ENOUGH is ENOUGH! I can only handle so much doubt
& those flower petals obviously weren't working out
Wishful thinking wasted your days sitting in the hills
Opportunities missed on new & exciting thrills

ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION???!!
I don't repeat, not a second time will I ever mention
Therefore, PLEASE NO repetitive silly little rhymes
RELAX!! Go with the flow, enjoy all the good times!!
Pulling petals won't help you find love
You'd have better luck wishing on the stars above
All you really need is to just believe & trust in fate
In no time....no time at all...in front of your face, YOUR SOULMATE!!
You're FINALLY starting to feel complete
Just imagine if you chose NOT to move your feet
Petals falling, flowers dying if you had stayed instead
& if you had ignored everything I just ******* said
You'd be left incomplete & wandering
With only the nothingness left & slowly your soul begins crumbling
So whatever you do or don't do
The choice is always up to you!!