Family what family mane me my brothers and mom been struggling for years
When we needed yall yall disappered
Most of them dont even calls
But feel guilty once one falls

I can honestly count maybe two handfulls of people as my real fam
While the others Prolly wouldn't give a ****
What kind of family talks bad about others
Like my mom for example people in the family judged her along with me and my brothers
To those who did it remember God dont like ugly

Yall better learn soon
We struggled our whole life
We never had the silver spoon
To whom reads this i dont mean to sound mean
But i got a sister cousin and relatives i haven't even seen

To my brother L Christopher Haynes-Rhodes speedy and sisters Ashley Rhodes maury and LarChelle Haynes we know our other mom to faces pain but as i write this poem i want us to build upon each others struggle for a happiness to regain its not like the others really care we dont even have get togethers nor reunions to

Smh we gotta do better as a family right now my mom has been in the hostpital for nearly a week for the ones Who came to see her who texed her and sent gifts i thank you all it's good to see that a small amount of people care and even the ones who said they ll pray as well
To everyone who is family on my mom and dad side if you can i want you all to share this if not spread the word  because this is not only a poem but this is a message

The day we become one whole will be a moment. Of truth i dont know how long it ll take but the only way that ll come true is if we all be real with one another besides fake thats all i have to say

They say a family that prays
Is a family that stays
So if i prayed tonight and today
Will that give her longer days

That would be a work of art
When it came to support
All she needed was more
My momma aint only hurt in her muscles but its also her heart

Honestly mom I am you
I might not have faced everything you faced
But i have faced enough to know it wont be replaced
People in this family talk about me like they did you
People told me lies to

Some of my friends turned they back on me when i needed them most
If i had a glass for every lie my ex's told me
Everyday we would toast

But i still right to God
because i want him to see the words that flow from my sole
To fix your broken heart into a whole

But the key to this at the end of the day
I still write as i pray
And for whom reads this you can leave a comment if you have something to say

Mane i dont know how im going to make it
Everysince i walked out that hospital i cant take it
Dear God
Out of all people
I just wonder why my mom has to go through all the stress all the pain
Why did she have to feel so misunderstood most of her life
Because most people did her wrong the more she came back with a right
And all i ask for you mother is fight
I remember you said you ll be here and there when i graduate
Maybe see me ehen i grown
But what if you dont make it
Then its me on my own
Along with my brothers to
And i bet right now those who done you wrong are not only crying over your condition
But its also guilt to
I rather be in your position than see it acted in you
So im hoping you get better
Cause my emotion just dont know what do
How can i ever smile again
When all i can do is cry
Please God give my mother a second chance
I dont wanna see her die

You're all i want,
and i want all of you

I love my life.
All of it.
Every time the sun warms or
Burns; the rain soothes, or
Stings with angry ice; barrel-hot
Buckshot, I
Thank. Thank for the
Weather.
I love my life.
All of it.

It's an art.
All of it.
Every time the axe rests above
Your neck mid-air,
Wink at the masked one
Holding the handle.
Thank. Thank for the
Swift awakening
Awaiting.
Add years to your dreaming.

It's an art.
All of it.

I love you, poet.
All that is you.
You hold an opposing answer
In each hand, commanding
The chooser to hold
Your gaze and keep
Asking.
The best readings rest between
Every line drawn.

I love you, poet.
It's an art. All that
Is you. **** well
All of it.

Sleep safe.
Add years to your
Dreaming.

John. I haven't read one letter since you left. I'm scared to open an envelope and see the same note you left before you let your dreams, goals, days all hang from a rope. To be honest I don't know what it was that you needed to hear, what words could've saved your life. But I can say that old coffee shop feels emptier. My room feels colder. My eyes look darker. I don't smile at seasons changing anymore. I've been avoiding all mirrors because I can't bare to see myself without you.
    You were the best person I've ever met. It almost seemed unfair that I let such a perfect person be with a broken mess like me. You were so funny and the way your eyes lit up when you told a story...Oh God. I'm not religious but when you looked at me that way I thought we were both going to hell. Your laugh was all I needed to make a bad day better, oh what I would do to make you laugh.
   I know you hated long car rides and you knew I hated distance. Who knew 6 feet could feel longer than 100,000 miles.? Because now you're resting underground and I don't sleep without sleeping pills. I miss you so much. I miss you. I miss you.

What happened is
you needed me,
and I did not