I just woke up in my house,
on my couch,
in your jacket.
I called everyone who called me last night,

and no one answered.

I lay here praying no one died.
Or killed themselves.

"You look like you got ran over by a truck."
Thank you.
I'm getting run over by something.
It kind of feels the same.
But it's not a truck.

Please,

Turn my body
Into a garden
When I die.

Maybe flowers
Will grow out
Of the same eyes
That used to cry.

Guess it's true
I'm not good, at a one night stand.
It's even harder to picture, that you're not here next to me.

Sipping on rosé, sipping on sun, coming up all lazy
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier,
Kiss me like the world is gonna disappear.

Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break-even,
You don't have to **** so kind, pretend to ease my mind,
As sweet as a song, as right as a wrong.

This love has taken it's toll on me,
I want you bad and I won't have it any other way.
How did I miss you when I didn't know you?

You make it easier when life gets hard,
I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?
You can't feel anything that your heart don't wanna feel,
I can't tell you something that ain't real.

You said move on
Where do I go?
No, don't be scared that I'm gonna tie you down.

I'm never gonna say goodbye,
I'll leave the door on the latch, if you ever come back,
if you ever come back.
And in time I know that we'll both see, that we're all we need.

The clock ticks
twice
And I know
ah, I've waited too long again

The clock ticks
thrice
The air feels cold
And all I can hear
is a tearing, breaking sound
Of a heart that hoped

Hollowed eyes straining
Typing mindlessly into the white screen
Letters,
a line
a curve
a sound
Letters treated like saliva in our mouths
A never-ending supply that you can eternally spit out
Spit on faces
on egos
on personalities
& into souls
The blank looks on our faces
Displaying vulnerability with words
Love letters, suicide notes, all the same
Just a mix and match of only 26
Shuffled to create a medley of messages
Enough to capture a heart
to water the eyes
to transform a character
You read back and realize…
Your words were nothing
They were merely a reflection of our shallow generation
The youth that speaks only of narcissism and flaws
The 26 letters wasted for the title of “popular”
wasted for the action of “fitting in”
wasted for the heart of the “love of your life”
26 is a huge number
Love is a huge word
Master this analogy and you can bloom in the world
People fear to not be accepted
My fear is my inability to put together a combination of 26 letters
One that has the ability to encompass the infinite possibilities
I fear to absorb this world’s dislocation of priorities
15 years with the same 26 letters
My words; altered
My mind; modified
And my mouth finally says:
I
want
to
*inspire

What makes me stay
Isn't your jade eyes
Nor your heart shaped lips
Nor your addicting smile
Nor your contagious laugh
Nor how you stare at me
Nor how you suddenly fall asleep
Nor how I'd spend all day just talking to you
Nor how you inspire me
Nor how you're just perfect
Nor how you're suddenly not so perfect
Nor how I love you
It's rather because of this connection
     Our friendship
     How you kiss me
     How you hug me
     How you give me all I want

You're everything I need
And that is what makes me stay

Maybe I need to break down
But, for the sake of being strong,
I'll force myself to hold on
God knows how long I'll last

Maybe I want to be broken down
Cause I know what pride I have
Won't let me do it
Myself

In the end, I feel I wasted the years
Working hard for something
That I knew, and I know
Will never be fulfilled

Carry a poem with you, always
carry it deep in your heart
and whenever you can, recite it,
recite it silently with your tongue.

and when you find love
it will amplify that love,
and a thousand times stronger it will become,
until another love walks into your path.


and suffering, never forget suffering,
never forget it. Embrace it,
embrace the pain as fully as you can
and when the time comes,
choose any poem from your heart
and with a smile you'll be ready to depart.