black as night
chiseled stone
spirits ramble
orphans roam

lover's eyes
masquerade
9 to 5
come out and play

drop of blood
alabaster
frozen heart
encased in plaster

open mouth
parted lips
shared breaths
sway and dip

swish and flick
atmosphere
moody blips
no need to fear

stormy skies
vivaciousness
gentle touch
tenacious kiss

cotton candy
flushed and wild
sapphire eyes
mother's child

wide grin
break apart
fleshy dawn
beating heart

these stubborn lungs
just won't give it up
dandelions, clovers, rabbit's foot
for luck
i've been trying my hardest
not to aim too high,
to shoot for the buildings, not
the petulant sky
wide eyes, open heart
concave hopes, brand new
start
aching and craving
thundering worlds anew
awoken to beauty
among a faithful few

I.
one of those days where
the skies cry for you.
when you wake up,
you move like the undead.
your eyes are glued shut.
you look back on when
you fell asleep and compare it to
amnesia.

II.
one of those moments where
you're the kid alone at the lunch table.
you're hiding out in the places
they never think to look,
running from the future
like it's a ***** filthy crook.
you look behind you and hear
pounding sneakers, see the
sepia-tinged flashbacks of mistakes
and regrets.
you're running for a break,
ready to change your luck.
but cells come from cells,
regret begets regret.

III.
one of those days where your bones
shudder and creak.
dragged down like an anchor in the
washed out, raging sea.
you grin because this isn't drowning; it's
the way you smile.
you start seeing visions of a life you could
have had, wanted bad, failed to grab.
it's nice to open your eyes
and not feel the stinging for a while.

IV.
one of those days where
you could have.
could have loved him, could have
belonged, could have hoped.
there might have been an end to the
hangman's rope.
you blocked your shot.
some selfish dreamer with a taste for
masochism shoves the dagger in
your back, and whispers, "what if?"
"what if this is all you've got?"

V.
one of those days where
you have to learn how to write.
you never wrote for anyone else,
never jumped from any great heights.
it always come back to him, every word,
every line and you still sometimes
find yourself convincing yourself that you're
really, really fine.
today, i am trying to find a new salvation
in between these broken rhymes,
trying to create a reason and
trying to try.

VI.**
one of those days
where you have to leap
in order to learn
how to fly.

i'm a princess cut from marble
and love doesn't come easily
christmas night, another fight
in sleep he sang to me

listen to my heart
you didn't close the door
don't you cherish me to sleep
dreaming my life away

i don't know where we're going
i had a feeling once
you and me are the same
remember that song i sang to you?

i look back to the one and only summertime
i'm not saying it's your fault
i'm out here a thousand miles from my home
there's no saving anything

welcome to the real world
you know i've always got your back
don't breathe too deep
another summer day has come and gone away

when that moon gets big and bright
i don't wanna talk
i wish i could hold you up
the mirrors don't reflect my face

i don't need nobody
the power lines went out
10 o'clock, late drive home
please know i'm trying

would you like to take a walk with me?
in the night i hear them talk
you said i didn't cry out to the clouds for nothing
you were always hard to hold

you've seen so many faces that i've never seen before
i just can't do it alone
but i know where you stand
i don't know where you've been

i'm lying in the ocean
"calm yourself", he says to me
i'll gather up the avenues
times square can't shine as bright as you

i'd run away
don't you suppose it's such a waste?
if my heart is always searching
when you're floating farther away

i'll be waking wishing i was right
is it me, is it you
we're not the same, dear
but i think we should run

if you hate me, why'd you come here baby?
no one has to understand
i guess it was never enough
there can only be one

There's aching backs and dampened clothes
And sleepless nights pull at countless eyes
Words muttered through rusted locker doors
Slammed shut
Words that can't help but be heard

And hot angry voices chip at young minds like axes to ice
All racing to claim such a hollow little prize
Five days turn to haze
Then come weekend,
Drank away.

Because it's not about learning, is it? Not anymore.

It's about getting an A.

i haven't searched for you
these past few days,
hours, minutes -
shuffling by, ticking,
homecoming countdown, seconds
until the winning pass
changes the course of

thousands upon thousands of
waves, sweeping cluttered shores,
stealing possessions and castaways;
sinking, sinking, sinking
sinking into

the ashes of cities, ones we
rebuild because Americana, nostal-
gia, and sinful pride.
we are gluttons of

ages and times and the faithful
pronouns me, myself, and i shout
into the void of inevitable oblivion
and each time i touch pen
to dead, amnesiac trees i am
begging for it and

you look like a time that
i will reminisce on to
kids whose father i settled -
that "i" again, so vain
and undeserving of it. so

your eyes light up, stars,
the northern lights. do they still?
do you pray? you must. it's how
you've been commemorated in
this barren landscape

graced with crystalline blue
pools, i remember,
tinges of you are seeping through
i bet you own the same guitar, treat it
like a child, i bet you're too close
so then you distance

is a bittersweet thing, but it has
given me a strange sense of zen,
peace, clarity, serenity,
finality.
because i haven't searched for you
these past few days,
hours, minutes -

i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying
i am, i am, i am
trying, eradicating,
disease.