I have two best friends
That my boyfriend doesn't seem to like
They have my attention all throughout the day
He only gets me in the night time
I choke all day
And don't breath until theres no light
Am I real around them
Or my boyfriend
Time will find out
Whether I'm honest with myself

Curled up in blankets
And at times being scared of
Who I'd be without

anyone: are you alright?
my mind: maybe they won't see the secrets inside
my mind: maybe they can't hear the lies that I hide
my mind: maybe they can't hear the pain and the sorrow
my mind: maybe they can't hear my cries for tomorrow
my mind: maybe they know i know im not enough
my mind: maybe they know that i've begun to give up
my mind: maybe they think that im just an allusion
my mind: my words and thoughts are all based on confusion
my mind: will somebody please help me out
me: i'm just fine

The sensation of your lips

That I can't feel anymore

The movement of your hips

That I had previously longed for

The feeling of your f*

That I yearned for
   before


I went numb



and the emotion drained for my lips
from my lips to my heart
oh where will pins and needles become a thing again
lost sight through my eyes
the power of my brain
all because you hurt me
every time
all the same
I begin to be worried
for you
not myself
and then i realized
my empathy for you doesn't matter
if i can't feel anything for myself