SHES DEAD SHES DEAD
I COULD'VE HELPED
BUT I LAYED HERE INSTEAD
UNABLE TO MOVE
TRAPPED IN MY BED
THE WORLD IS TO MUCH
TEARING ME TO SHREDS
SEEMS NOTHING BUT DARKNESS
LAYS UP AHEAD
PRETTY WHITE SHEETS
NOW COVERED IN RED
ITS TO LATE NOW  
SHES DEAD SHES DEAD

i wonder about the gathered pressure behind your teeth at 2am
Remember when we would gather by the church behind your house and joke about the god everyone foolishly admired
You always questioned why no one praised you
And you loved it whenever girls kneeled down for you
I started to fear you in 7th grade
And you liked that
You were greater than the man nailed to the cross
You had all the attributes and then some
But the pressure behind your teeth must have a sole cause
Was it because  
The girls wouldn't get on their knees for you anymore
They were scraped and ****** from your unfinished, carpet less basement
And did their heads hurt from your fluorescent lights
Were your hands too rough one day
Did they do something wrong
To cause your sudden outbreak
Because the fear people felt for you was no longer innocent
It was twisted and malevolent like your intestines
I bet you wanted to rip mine out

It is the waiting hour
And our time is nearly up
But what will matter when it comes?
When our waiting stops

So we clutch our dying dreams
And watch the embers burn
An hour gone's
An hour lost
But our waiting doesn't stop

It is the waiting hour
And these dreams will never end
sometime soon
Around that bend
It'll come and end our pain

But the time is running out
And our lessons never learned
The waiting done
Will make us Dumb
And death won't stop a thing

It is the waiting hour
Our time is nearly up
nothing will matter when it comes
When our waiting stops

I cry, beg you please
Scream
Scratch desperately


Why?
Why not me?


****** words
Empty minds
Broken hearts
Lost in time


Open the doors
Let in the contraband
Crimson stained skin
Take me, I'm yours


Guess it's only right
To give in to the fight


You'll eventually leave
It's only for tonight

Seriously ****** up in the mental
Dreaming to see my grave
These scars on my skin weren't accidental
Sadness comes in waves

Drowning in my own thoughts
Submerged in voices that aren't my own
My mind is tangled in knots
Deeper under the waves I'm thrown

Extremely messed up in the brain
Wishing to lay 6ft underground
All the life in me has been drained
I'm not going to wait and hang around

I'll take a boat, plane, even a car
As long as it takes me far away
A gun, rope or pills in a jar
In my mind I'm not about to stay

Immensely ******* up in my head  
Where did I go so wrong
All I want is to just be dead
You were right all along

I'm beyond the point of relief
For me the world has gone dull
So don't you dare give me grief
I'm caught up in my skull

the girls who are made from fire
the girls who run with the wolves
the girls who know diamonds are only carbon
the girls who still give a ****
the girls who cry themselves to sleep at night
the girls who are good
the girls who are bad
the girls who are bound by religion
the girls who **** anyone they like
the girls who smoke cigars
the girls who crash against the shore

write em all.

the **** survivors
the drug addicts
the businesswomen
the doctors
the teachers
the mothers
the lovers
the daughters
the sisters
you
me
us

write em all.

I was smiling but not happy
I was alive but not living
I was a body who had lost it's soul
I was at the point of no return
I was already dead
I was dead long before I pulled the trigger

I feel my friends slipping away
Grasping and clawing trying to hold on to them
Cold white hands reaching out of the darkness trying to find someone
No ones there, they've already left, moved on in there own lives
Having fun and making memory's
While I sit alone in terrible thoughts
Reaching and waiting for people who aren't there