I used to have these shoes,
Worn down and eventually to small.
But I adored them,
Danced in them till the joy faded and they could no longer hold me.

Black and new,
I once thought of the places they would take me.
Dreaming of childish possibilities. Never knowing that they could hold happiness.

I wore these shoes when you loved me most,
Growing and never fading from the feelings of those Mary Jane's,
The lace socks so pretentious.

I wore these shoes when the world was pure.
Way back when pretty things fit little girls,
And daughters where meant to love fathers.

I remember them more,
As you fade into the years.
A flash back of what I have thrown away.
Worn Mary Janes,
Still shinny but they fit so tight,
That day you left me behind.

To properly show you my journeys
I would have to take you back
Hop into my little car
And spin the wheels of time

My life is like a glass globe
That rolls fast along a concrete floor
All the bumps and rocks
Crack the states and memories
And I sleep with both eyes broken

All these things I've seen
Faces
And voices stuck deep within the
Winding, twisting caverns of my head
They parch my throat
And to quench this thirst
Rest?

Let me bend to you
One whisper
So that you may breathe
Similar breaths of knowing
And then...

...then you can tell me
"Keep going"
And you might realize
*She just needs to stop

My lids peel back slow to let another
weary day tackle me to the floor.
I push aside overbearing blankets
and shuffle down an empty hallway
into another more bare than afore.
Dragging my feet seems to require
more power than I had thought before.

Nothing but dark rooms ahead await
dully lit by open ‘fridgerators
that make monster shadows of purple,
frightening paintings that taunt Fate.
The shifting faces mock chance of late.

My reveries halt to disturbance that
a noise from somewhere below brings out.
I breathe deeply in as hope fills me-
a hope of the promise of a frozen mouth.

I think in that breath it is you I hear
rumbling and padding ‘round down the stairs
and I tell myself I am right, for it has to be you;
if it is not, no one else seemingly cares.
Morning breaks open the torment of day
like a ripped wound exposed to salty air.

I swallow back like every day the tears;
wrap myself up in old, cold sit-coms
and warm blankets to banish my fears.
Force myself to endure the hefty bombs
showered at my skull like a falsified norm.

The house lies vacant, in wait of you,
haunted by memories etched on paling skin.
Pacing remains the only thing I can do
to strain against the barrage of pins.

As always, I grin and I jump and I wave
so everyone can see just how brave
I am.
         I am.

But I can’t be anymore
and the salt-water behind my eyes
screams to exit the pores.
I can’t hold them in much longer
and I’m all out of supplies
that keep me stronger
                                      than I am.

I’ve run out of the fog
that my brain runs on, and
my heart condones.

       I have painted on a clown-smile
       and I'm quelled inside, flat.
All that is left in me now
is a crushed can of cola
shoving hard at my ribcage.

I am waiting still and know for sure
all will be as it was in times of yore.

She sleeps with her arms cradling her body,
holding herself together as she lay.
Afraid she will come apart while her eyes are closed.

If you rip her open, a quilt of leftover pieces.
Pieces placed and abandoned.
Find a spot between the ribs where her heart used to be,
patch in your lies and your empty words.

Perhaps her frayed seams will finally split.
Tugging at the binding of her forearm and hand, she digs for proof.

She wishes to peel off every inch of skin sewn onto her bones,
to create a new canvas free of rips and tattered edges.

His love is like a unknown depth, that strangles till she's blind. The truth that he hides in glass and nails, is embedded in her mind.

It chokes her essence, cages her sanity, as his lovers come into view. Now when she sees her reflection, it's of someone she once knew.

His wicked games of dark deceit, truly drive her mad. Why it is she chooses to stay, the answer seems so sad.

They lay intertwined and intimate, on sheets of silky blue. He whispers words of loyalty and love, that she knows in her heart aren't true.

His love is like a demon she craves, it draws in every breath. Even though he breaks her so, to leave him would mean death.