somehow you found me and it was like-
pomegranate suns i could swallow.
i haven't been loved like this in a long time.
i remember when she first smiled sweetly,
danced lightly, and kissed my sour lips
and she said she loved me, but i knew the truth-
she intended to use my body like how mom scoops
out red melon flesh from a rind, to pierce my heart
with black pins and eyes that never looked right.
she whispered secrets to me and found my own.
exploited my nature and soon i was hitting her across the cheek.
she said she liked it and maybe she did, but i was crying.
when i try to speak it all comes up in tangled string
and people don't believe me, even when they can see it.
how could god make me a vessel only to be dissected.
now you're here and i can't even touch you without
flinching, without feeling a phantom fire of the pains
past "lovers" ignited, without a spark, a match.
you have a dark past, twisted through violet fumes.
so do i, but only a reflection of the pages in your book.
i'm tired of living with trauma, when we haven't moved in together.