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2.6k · Jan 2021
Ode To The Bartender
Anonymess Jan 2021
O bartender,
It has been a while
You slinging drinks with a casual smile
Cocktails you throw and stir and shake
And at closing time my heart does break.

O bartender,
What to say, you always know
Crafted words and my excitement grows
Tequila, beer or simply rather
"I'm glad you enjoyed, would you like another?"

O bartender,
You always look after me
Especially when you find me on a spending spree
Thank you bartender for all the great times
For this cocktail now which you call mine.
1.5k · Jun 2017
So I Took A Sleeping Pill
Anonymess Jun 2017
So I took a sleeping pill.
For hours I lay awake staring at the ceiling,
Thinking of what I've said, done and how things could have been.
Thinking of tomorrow, and how it might be different,
And I lie awake because I don't know if I'm brave enough for it.
I lie awake thinking until my head starts to hurt
From imagining a world where I'm whole and not broke.
I see this world and it's so crystal clear,
But only when I'm lying awake trying to disappear.
And so a took a sleeping pill.

I took a sleeping pill.
And pray to sleep, because when I sleep I get to dream.
But wait, who actually who wants to dream
When the images seen are like that of a birds broken wings?
The bird tries to keep moving but the pain holds it hostage
And my wings, just like that birds, no longer move nor fly.
So rather I analyse all the little things in my head
And I tell myself I won't look any stronger if I'm both asleep and dead.
So I took a sleeping pill.
1.3k · Jun 2017
Intruder. Violater.
Anonymess Jun 2017
Intruder. Intrusion. In my personal space.
Violater. Violation. What you took, I cannot replace.
Material. Materialistic. But that that's not the point.
My thoughts. My feeling. Have been shattered open.

Intruder. Violater. You didn't just steal.
You took something from me more valuable.
Than diamonds and rubies and all the queens gold.
Intruder. Violater. You don't know what you hold.                              

Intruder. Violater. You've taken my purge.
Letters and answers and maps to my worth.
Intruder. Violator. You've taken from me.
Memories of where I was, who I am and I am how I came to be.
You've taken my heartache, my sadness and pain
But also the joy and happiness from life I have gained.

Intruder. Violater. Maybe something to sell.
You took my whole world and spun me around.
Material. Materialistic. Harmless. Maybe to you.
I'm shattered and heartbroken and there's nothing I can do.
I wrote this after someone broke into my flat only to steal my laptop. I wasn't so much upset that the laptop was stolen as about what was on the laptop. Years of memories and writing and feelings. Things I held sacred and kept sacred, just taken to be sold.
1.0k · Jun 2017
Domino in a Lego House
Anonymess Jun 2017
I'm a domino in a Lego house
And when not a Domino
A Lego
In a castle of cards

Or a card amongst Jenga bricks
And when not a card
A Jenga brick
In a game of Pick Up Sticks
  
Or a stick amongst Monopoly hotels
And if not a stick
A red hotel
In a game a Life

And if its a game of Life,
Then I'm falling behind,
And still picking up sticks.
954 · Sep 2017
Soft Voice, Loud Thoughts
Anonymess Sep 2017
Soft Voice, Loud Thoughts
Like the drip, drip, drip
Of a tap that won't,
No, can't get fixed.

And those words otherwise
Left unheard drip, drip, drip
With the broken tap
Allowong those Loud Thoughts,
With those Soft Voices
Their means to their end;
To shout...
Drip, drip, drip

And the shouting is not that
Shrieking, screaming
Of a child left unfed
Or a mother left mourning
But rather of those few words
Drip, drip, drip
That make their way past
A vocal cord which feels as though
It has already been ripped out

A vocal cord ripped out by those
Loud Voices with Soft Thoughts,
With rough hands and rougher tongue
Who use and abuse their words
Like everything else they've  thrown away.
Drip. Drip. Drip.

And so Loud Thoughts with Soft Voices
Are made to feel obsolete
In a world of shrieking, screaming, shouting!
Drip! Drip! Drip!
But Loud Voices with Soft Thoughts
Would rather shout at brick walls
Than... Breathe...
       And then so ... what's the point?

Those Loud Thoughts with Soft Voices
Sooner or later begin to deafen themselves
With the Soft Thoughts of Loud Voices
And that drip, drip, drip
Of Soft Voices with Loud Thoughts
Rushes and Gushes with the shrieking,
Screaming and shouting
At brick walls.

Can you still feel your vocal cords?
Inspired by the drip, drip, drip of a broken tap and that of careless words left to linger
712 · Jun 2017
This Thing
Anonymess Jun 2017
This role I'm playing is exhausting
Of watching you watching me
Of smiling, of laughing
Of not cracking when you blink

This being human is tiring,
Its not as great as they said it would be
The acting, the pretending,
The standing strong when you're weak

This staying alive thing is excruciating
Of being in pain and wishing to be free
Of trying, of crying
Of not being able to be me
499 · Jun 2017
Survival of the Fittest
Anonymess Jun 2017
Survival of the Fittest
It's not the strongest
Nor is it the fastest
It is the one that needs not be medicated
Who will see it to The End.
398 · Jun 2017
Sometimes
Anonymess Jun 2017
Sometimes I wish I were an insect. So small and insignificant. Where all I had to worry was where to eat and where to sleep.  Under a rock or deep in the ground away from the world. My only worry the trample of a boot or the squawk of a bird. Sometimes I wish I were an insect.    

Sometimes I wish I were a tree. Strong and sturdy. Where all I had to do was stand and watch the seasons change, the people change, the world change. My only worry the chop of an ax or whether my roots are deep and strong enough to stand against the howling winds. I wish I were a tree.
    

Sometimes I wish I were a river. Moving rapidly and easy. Where all I had to do was go with the flow of my current. My only worry the unbearable heat that brings on a drought or the toxins of man. I wish I were a river.
336 · Jun 2017
I Wonder
Anonymess Jun 2017
I wonder if I could Speak from my
      Eyes
         And See from my Mouth
                 Would I have Worded any of
                        My Decisions better?
Anonymess Jun 2017
You wake in the morning
Make sure you eat healthy
Gotta rush off to work
Before the boss gets all grumpy
Then go through your bills
Make sure all that ****'s paid
Gotta get a good nights rest
Reset. Repeat.
Tomorrow's another day.
311 · Jun 2017
The Cats
Anonymess Jun 2017
My skin the coffin to my decaying insides
The knots in my stomach where anxiety resides
The chewed off fingernails
The bruises on my arm
The wondering who will feed the cats if tomorrow I'm gone
Late night thoughts
311 · Jun 2017
where is my soul
Anonymess Jun 2017
my bridge is falling down
it is falling down
where have i gone
i am gone
the bridge is gone
i am down
the wall has gone up      
it is high up
the bridge is down                
where is the bridge
there is a wall
where is my soul
there is no bridge
it has fallen down
the wall is up
i have gone                      
the bridge is down                    
do you see the wall
where is my soul?
266 · Jun 2017
Humpty
Anonymess Jun 2017
I'll be sitting on this ******* wall
Waiting for the next ******* fall
There aint any kings horses
    There aint any kings men
Who'll come to my ******* rescue
And put me together again

So humpty ******* dumpty, saved by kings
A story that forever has me wondering
If I stumble and fall and no favor saves me
What kind of favors saved little humpty?

So before I do fall
Let me get off
This ******* high wall
262 · Jun 2017
The Shit of People.
Anonymess Jun 2017
It almost seems like
The **** of people
Is there
For me to deal with
But I feel like I couldn't care
Any less any more
Because once you've
Dealt with one
It seems like
You've dealt with them all
From that **** at table 22
Who seems to want you
To stop by every
Two minutes
In case he might not
Be fine;
He's mostly fine
But then he forgets to tip
*******, you ****!
And then the *******
On the road
In front of me
            Who decides not to                        
Indicate that he
wants to turn left lane!
But hey thats ok
Coz this feels like
The **** I deal with
Everyday.
And then theres that
**** where I
Walk into my mothers
House
And it isn't warm
Or cosy
The way it was
Growing up.
And mom is a slave
To pills and other
Drugs
And now I gotta deal
With this ****;
But she feels once
You've been in one
Rehab
You've been in them all,
So she feels like ****
Trying,
Coz doing hard things
Is something that people do
Only if they
Seriously
Want something
That they're aching for.
But I'm aching for
Something that I know
I gotta work for
And this dealing with ****
Its part of the campaign
That I'm running for.
So that one day
I can find myself
Not just achieving
Everything    
But to feel proud
Coz I did some hard things
To know I ****** up
**** up
Instead of just giving in
So I'll deal with the ****
Of the ****
At table 22
And the ******* in
Traffic
And my mother
Too.
The **** of people is plenty. A quote, which I feel sums up a lot of what I'm feeling now is that "sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windscreen." I'm waiting to be the windscreen.
241 · Sep 2017
Untitled
Anonymess Sep 2017
Undirected.
Redirected.
Rerouted.
New direction.
Same destination?
How far to Nirvana?
237 · Jun 2019
You vs. them
Anonymess Jun 2019
Baby, its you vs. them.

They only see
The things that don't fit in
That don't make sense
To their enquiring

They don't get
There is so much more
Than corporate and company
And a good credit score

They invest in you
**** that,
You're not an asset
They wait to see
What will you return
Company car?
Clinical depression?

Written on your walls
You quote to yourself
"Money can't buy happiness"

Written on their walls
The days penciled in
Numbers like a prison sentence

They throw you their doubts
All the reasons you'll fail
They tell you're stupid
For believing in yourself

They tell you to find some
Purpose, some meaning
They tell you to do this
From the list they have aproven  

**** that
*******
**** that ****
They keep making you do

**** that ****
**** all your doubts
**** your hypocrisy
Of praying to God
Praying that
Life won't knock you down too hard

Maybe you're right
Maybe I'm wrong
You're naive too though
If you believe
That this little construction
Is all that you need
That if you look just like
Act just like
Pretend just like
The rest

God won't pick up on your
Unhappiness

If you smile just right
Eat just right
Get paid just right
Then who will know you
You can't sleep at night.

Surely not me, I sleep just fine.
219 · Mar 2020
The Itch.
Anonymess Mar 2020
You ever sit?
You have that itch?
So you scratch.
Scratch.
Scratch that ******* itch.
It just won't go away.
It keeps gnawing away.
At your neck.
Down your spine.
Down your arms.
Your ******* face.
That ******* itch.
And you scratch.
You just keep scratching.
It just keeps itching.
Then.
You realize.
You.
You are the itch.
The itch you can't scratch.
204 · Apr 2018
Forget
Anonymess Apr 2018
I breathe
But forget to breathe out
I blink
But forget to open my eyes
I shout
But forget to say something
I step forward
But forget where I'm landing
I chew
But forget that I'm eating
I love
But forget who I'm loving
Again.

— The End —