the fact of it is:
you can’t just
make me feel
like i matter to you
and then
disappear.
it isn’t polite.
it is very unkind to my heart
and i think you should come back,
as fast as that car can drive
through new york city traffic.
i think you should wrap your arms around me
and spin me in the air
(like you did just three weeks ago)
and tell me
you’re sorry
for making me feel unimportant –
that you didn’t mean it –
that it was all a mistake –
anything.
you can ignore me and ignore me
but what i’m trying to say is
i won’t give up
on trying to reach you,
because that’s what people do when they love each other.
i’ll keep at it
until the day
you say, with words,
that you don’t want me in your life anymore.
that is all you have to do,
and i swear i will bury your phone number,
i will donate our memories to goodwill,
i will peel off all the skin you touched
and take it out with the trash.
okay, maybe i’m bluffing --
it's fitting, the last resort
of the desperate.
i am trying to say
a thing i cannot say.
i am trying to reach
through time and space
for a thing i cannot have.
i can’t think of a thing i wouldn’t give
for one last honest conversation.
and listen, we don’t have to be in love.
i may never stop thinking about
the night i slept at your house
but that is my problem, not yours.
i don’t need you to be in love with me,
i just need you
to be with me.
what i’m trying to say is
i’m going to need you to come back,
and this is not a request,
and i don’t know how to say this softly.
what i’m trying to say is
i am absolutely begging you.