Very soon
Now you will see
I'll be stronger
Than you'll ever be
Every time your hand slipped
Just to hurt me more
You left me abandoned
And my body soar

In the beginning
You sang me lullabies
But then your screams
Became louder than my cries
Each day, every day
You pulled me in enough
To suffocate me
Because you like to bluff

Told you to be gentle
Begged you not to hurt me
But you adored me with bruises
Crawled back, calling me 'baby'
**I wasn't allowed to smile
To muffle, to make a sound
Because you like it that way
You liked being my hound

Is it just me or can you see it too?
The sunshine -we're finally getting somewhere new

Everything we planned when we were only 16,
It's been years, tell me how have you been?

Remember when I used to cry everytime you'ld hide?
All the hurdles, but with you by my side

You told me how one day, I'll find my happy place,
Oh, but all this time I was  only creating an empty space

You asked questions only I could answer to,
But when you died, my skies could never again be blue,

That pretty contagious smile of yours and smoke in the air,
Please come back, all I need is you –with me, here

My hands shake and my heart doesn't beat anymore,
I've lost all that I had and buried it deep in the core

There are some things you can't speak of,
The path of life –skipping easy, getting rough,
You're wrong if you think we all need love,
Not everybody dreams of rose gardens and dove,
You long for someone to catch you when you fall,
But some dream of being alone –standing tall,
You leave the abandoned –that's what's done by all,
But some seek to sit by the wall,
Don't call us dumb, don't you call us crazy,
We can live by ourselves even if it gets hazy,
It's easy to see weakness in the lonely,
But what if being alone is holy?
Those who have had their share of all the affection,
Watch them rising from the ashes –creating resurrection
**So if they mention how they can
live without love and care,
Don't you stand there with that frown and stare

Do you ever feel like you're standing in the centre of a big, dark circle? Feel like everyone around you is only drifting away –one by one, step by step?
Do you ever yearn to not just be cared for, but also care for someone so much that you stop worrying about anything else? Do you ever long –not just to be loved, but to love? Do you feel like your circle is too big for you, but too small for someone else to fit in? Does it leave you wondering that maybe you're toxic? So everyone just leaves, as if no one can be faithful to you because you're so useless. Perhaps, it is your circle – and eventually your own circle begins to bury you within. Is that not sad? Is that not treacherous that no one in this world really knows you? No one bothers to look into your eyes and see the tears you've never cried.
And I feel like my circle is only growing bigger. It's eating me inside out and I can't even tell someone. There's no one.