High.
On the ledge.
Millions of feet below.
the soft looking pavement.
For my blood to surely flow.
I step off the ledge.
And fall really fast.
I recap my life.
Recap my past.
I hold my breath.
as if I am about to dive.
But really any sane person knows
You don't survive a fall this High.
As I keep falling.
I began to tear.
Thinking about my family.
My mother...
Oh Dear...
I wish there was another way.
But i'm falling to fast.
So I continue to hold my air.
And remember my past.
Nearing the ground.
A smile; formed on my face.
"Soon..." I say to myself.
I won't be in this place.
Inches away.
Time running slow.
The ground looks.
So
Ready
To release my soul.
Impact is quick.
Painless at that.
I gasp and bolt from my bed.
A pain in my back.
It was a dream.
Why won't you
Look at that.
I dreamed about Death.
About sweet release.
And my brain toyed with me.
Gave me a tease.
Glad I suppose.
That I didn't die.
From that big ole fall.
From that *******
High.

Waking up to sirens
Just another day in the hood
   But we living

Kid gets shot
But he's not living
Cop goes free
And they still killing

People we gotta love each other
Black lives should matter
even when we killing each other

People we gotta love each other
if all lives matter why we killing each other

I done lost
so many friends
So many brothers
Growing up in the hood
You get shot over your color
Who's gonna hold the weeping mother
Who's gonna raise there children
they ain't ask To be here
And they wonder why when we see police we show fear  

It's a 2 way street
We protest for the trevons
But who gonna protest when
Tyreek **** tyreek

People we gotta love each other
Black lives should matter
Even when we killing each other

People we gotta love each other
if all lives matter why we killing each other

Peace

Sitting in de street
Spitting out a reggae beat
Rollin up a sticky spliff
Jammin out a reggae riff
JAH knows I take the fattest hit
"**** this ****** is strong as ****!"
I see a glint in the eye of a guy
On de street, just passin by
He flicks some cash in me cup, and I begin to smile;
For in my heart of hearts I know, he feels my reggae style

I remember
school days
as the Beatles
swept America
our first kiss
sitting on
a playground
jungle gym
past midnight.
I had planned
that kiss
for days but never
expected such
lingering
sweetness
I can taste
yet all these
years.

Our wedding
the rebels
changing
the world
you said
kissing
was corny
so I didn't.
Afterwards
always
my regret.
They threw
corny old
rice.
I was
delighted.
Some pleasures
are a
complete
surprise.

And me?
I became a new age pestilence
gone all the time
I had a new cough everyday
dark circles lined my red watery eyes.
I didn’t sleep
I didn’t eat
and when I did?
I puked it up,
you could sell me on TV
as death with a coffee cup.
I didn’t finish that project
so I took a hammer
to my wrist;
and when we learned that if someone died
during finals
the rest of us would pass?
You all laughed,
but my mind went dark
I began wondering
exactly when could
I slip cyanide
into that poor girls
hydroflask.
Can’t you see
what’s driving me?
These letter grades and GPA’s
are making me lose my mind;
you tell me I’m fine,
it doesn’t matter.
But what if i’m not great
at anything else?
What if I’m not good enough?
I just wanted to be good enough.

and in the end, when our eyes have closed and our hearts have been shattered
by people other than each other, and the dark settles and we're both afraid
because we both can't stand being alone in it, and in the end, when
God calls you by your name, I'll be waiting, or you will, up by the gates
of heaven because I know that we both are scared of hell, in the end
I'll have already written your name a hundred thousand times in the clouds
so that maybe by the time you meet me up there, the whole world
will know how much you mean to me. In the end,
when we forget what each others' laugh sounds like and our tears
come because we're tired and we can't laugh anymore about it,
and you don't text me good morning anymore, and my bloodstream
isn't shot with chemicals from you anymore, and I can't fill your heart
anymore, and Massachusetts doesn't remind me of you anymore, and
there are no more I love you's and I miss you's anymore and people don't
think we're gay anymore and people don't know the half of it anymore
then, with my last breath, I want you to know
that you've carved the shape of my heart in unexpected and beautiful ways
and I think about you more than you know and we've only scratched
the surface of what we have and what we don't have
I want you to know that I'll never meet someone who can write
the word 'synonym' and make me feel so much with just that,
I want you to know that I'll never meet someone so much like me again
and that in the end, being your friend has changed the course of my life
I cannot express all that I know or all that I feel about you,
or if I even should, because I'm a ******* nerd, and also too deep,
I cannot show you in this lifetime the amount of coincidences
and God-driven chance, and destiny, that has put us together
in the same place and in the same time on this Earth
I cannot explain to you the amount of beauty I see in you
but I am glad that someone so beautiful exists at all.
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.