Recovery is painful
But my mother’s words are like daggers in my chest

Her dietary verses sound all too familiar
She looks at my body as if it were trash

We view my physique the same way, really
I’m either sick or complete flab

I feel myself slipping into old routine
(Although the scale says nothing different)

I feel her fingers rubbing against my wounds
During my daily weigh-in

It’s difficult to love the skin I’m in
When my mother frowns at a larger pair of pants

I did the math and realized I’m forty pounds above my lightest
I’m sure my mother wouldn’t care if I reached that weight again

Not even in the slightest

You are the grass and concrete beneath my feet,
Keeping me steady and down to earth.
You are not the stars taking my breath away,
But rather you are the sun,
Giving warmth to my body.

Ask me for my humble opinion
I will write it along the walls of your home

Ask me to expand and elaborate
I will show you step by step

Tell me my confidence is malice
I will show you what vengefulness really is

Indirect your words and shoot daggers at me
Tar and feather my body for all to see

Turn a healthy discussion into sudden death
Life’s a competition, right?

You’re the professor, after all
I should know that wisdom has been stitched into your very being

It’s not like your student’s words would hold any truth
You’re already the winner

And I’m the one destined to lose

You stepped foot out of the car and sauntered over
I was sure I could watch you come home to me everyday
But we only had 94 hours together
Although, I craved for you to stay

We watched through the tale of The Boy Who Lived
(And you dozed through all my favorite parts)
We relived another seven years in the castle and hallows
While it was really only nineteen hours on the couch

Still, time was of the essence
It had been far too long since your hand was in mine
So, I strived to make the most of it
Before you drove back across the state line

It was during those 94 hours
When you whispered all your affection to me
The glow across your face from the television
When you told me you were falling in love with me

Those 94 hours came to an end and you packed up all your things
You placed my hand on your beating heart, sorting out every feeling
Your car then left the driveway just as easily as it came
All of our time spent apart made me realize one commodity

Absence does make the heart grow fonder

She tells you there is a hurricane inside my head
And how my pupil is not the eye of the storm

Agitation creeps underneath the layers of my skin
She is sure that I am trouble (or troubled)

Obviously, I am a thief in the night
I am stealing you away, after all

And she explains to your sister that I am the wolf in sheepskin
Just waiting to devour

I tell her I don’t understand what it is I did wrong
She tells me to exam myself once more and recalculate all my flaws

I’m asking for confidence
Something that I know is truth, completely
I strive to be more than competent
During this time of hardship and scrutiny

I want to be the best, yes of course
Students deserve a well-informed instructor
But math is a subject in which I can’t preform
Unless I receive help from you, Lord

I can see where the testing is important
Every state has a standard to uphold
But one score deciding my fate is pure torment
Especially when details of the results are untold

But for now I will draw near to the Throne of Grace
And search for wisdom from the All-Knowing One
There I will find the confidence and knowledge to ace
My exam, knowing the work will pay off in the long run

There's no such thing
As no strings attached
Although your emotions are absent

There's no such thing
As no strings attached
Even though I say I'm fine with these decisions

A baseball glove is your future
But for now I will suture
My body back together

Tying it together with the strings
That should never be attached
To sneaking around

You probably call it *******
While your buddies
Pat you on the back

I thought *** was supposed to be
More than just you and me
Keeping our voices down

How
Do you let me through your window
Just to tell me to get dressed and go?

We were fooling around
But it's different now
That you're playing with my heart