I don’t want to be asked if I’m ok.
I don’t want to be addressed when I’m upset.
Just leave me alone-
And hope to not let the world see how much
Of a freak
I really feel I am.
Sorry if it puts the
Circus out of business.

I can attack you with a thousand hugs
Kisses
And Compliments.
I can also attack you
With coldness
Silence
Explosive anger
And tears of anguish.
Which one will you be?

Who have I become recently?
A person who subjectively
Falls apart,
Or has objectivity
Become a lost art?
I am unable
To make moves
And to get better
On my own.
And people know this.
So I have faked this
False happiness
Long enough.
Let’s going back to crying
And suicide
And wanting to die
Because it seems like
That’s what I’m good at most anyways.

Am I really unproductive?
I guess so
So maybe that’s why
I eventually become boring
And annoying to people.
Because as amazing and creative as I could be
I am still unmoving and unwilling to change.
And I am not productive,
So I know I won’t do anything in the end.
Oh, so that’s why they all leave.
It is a reflection of me,
A mirror on everyone else’s face,
A gaze into everyone else’s eye
And then I see
What they see of me,
And what I am is a
Boring,
Lazy,
Crazy,
Kind of guy.
So that’s why they leave.

Why am I here?
Oh God I shouldn't be here
Oh god I should disappear
Oh God why did I reapper
Oh god don't let me get close
Oh **** I won't get near
Oh God this is weird
Oh God let me leave
Oh God this place isn't for me.
Oh **** no one is talking to me.
It's because I'm crazy
And that they don't like me.
What is going on with me?

I will tell you something about
Best friends
And good people:
They just don't exist.
And sometimes
You are the worst one.

Love is the pit
I find myself in
Too many times
To be forgotten by another
Who probably didn't deserve me
Or maybe I didn't deserve them:
Friends
Lovers
Family
I don't.

Love is like a pit,
And I slipped from the edge.
And when I fall,
I fall hard.