My heart pounds inside my chest and I can feel my anxiety increasing
I've never been anxious
My two bestfriends are drowning and I don’t know how to swim
Which do I save?
Can I go in after both?
But I can't tread water or even doggy paddle
Wait…I actually have a slight fear of water
But I have to go, I have to try
I can feel the water creeping up my legs
I keep walking steadily, careful not to lose my footing
Got **** it's cold, they must be freezing
I walk faster now, in waste deep
I keep hearing my name in silent cries
They are pleading for me to hurry with their worried eyes
**** where'd she go?
I can’t see her head
I can see his hand
I try to yell "I’m here, I’m here!! I’m coming"
but a tidal wave comes and takes me under
 
I remember she said being around me makes her fearful
Her fears of me made me remember why
I’m flooded with thoughts of my past
Images that can’t be erased no matter how much I’ve changed
No matter how much time has passed
I can’t let myself drown, she needs me
 
Noo! I'm here I can save you this time
I can rescue you, hold you
And your fears of me will be no more
I will be your hero and not your destroyer
 
I resurface and try swimming towards her
But just as my head peeps above the water
A thick cloud of smoke blurs my vision
**** **** ****! I can’t see!
I realize he's trying to get my attention
“Come my way” he's pleading
It looks like he's relaxing on the water
Floating
But it's all a show, I know
He's a sinker
 
That used to be our past time
chilling, relaxing, smoking
But now he is choking on his hobby
**** did I let this happen?
The ominous smoke cloud is hovering above him
spreading in the wind
I know he can’t breathe…
 
I’m overwhelmed and want to yell “Help!”
But nah, I got this
They can't know I'm **** near drowning too
They can’t see the tears running down my face
Thank goodness we are in water
Wait ****...we're in water
Don't panic
Relax.
Breathe.
 
The faster I move, the further into the abyss I go
The harder it is for me to see them
I can no longer hear their cries or see their bodies
 
****. The sun's going down
It’s slowly starting to set.
I have to get to them before night fall
Don't give up.
Don’t
Give
Up.
They're counting on you
 
I turn back...
 
As soon as I reach land I drag my body across the dirt
Ahh yes! Over there!
I get my life boat and return to the water more at ease.
I can do this.
My confidence is back.
I close my eyes and feel their heartbeats traveling through the air
It's like a magnet.
 
Times running out but I will save them
 
Paddle
Faster.
Paddle
Faster!
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
 
I don't know if I can reach them before the darkness surrounds them
All I know is I will reach them and pull them aboard
Even if it's dark, at least we will see the light
*Together.

The worst is when you fall in love and they don't with you
you heart feels crushed and not just split in two
you feel empty and worry that you'll never feel whole
for you loved them to the core of your soul

but I'm here to tell you that you don't need them to feel alive
you don't need that person you thought was perfect to survive
you are purely beautiful and enough on your own
so take a seat on your personal royal throne
don't search for love because all the love you need is from you
and once you start believing that i promise your dream love will finally come true

We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

baby let's disintegrate into dust so we float and go where the
wind    
blows
us
let's not think;
let's just
be
let's make the world mad with our shared deep affection
so in true love others will believe
let's kiss in the breeze;
live free
let's slip through their fingers only letting them experience
a piece of earth's greatness for only a
instant
let's make love through our words and dance
with our minds until they become twisted
Baby, you and me?
Let's become one even through distance
If you float one way and I another
do not worry because there is no other
no other woman who can journey the world with me
explore my body and caress my soul like you
with every breath you inhale a kiss from your lips
are placed above my hips
your very being ignites the dragon within me to produce the fiery
passion that sparked our love
you are me and I..I am you
no matter what tries to come between us
we will rise above
so how about it baby?
let's disintegrate into dust so we can float and go where the
wind    
blows
us