Some days I feel expressionless
So
I lay on my couches
Sipping some teas
Thinking on nothing at all
No smiles, no frowns
I just sit here and be
an expressionless me.

24 hours without.
Strip off the clothes that enveloped you
And have been my armor for the past day.
I try to convince myself I'm not washing you away.
That I'm not sending the sensations
Of your soft skin on mine
Down the drain.
I turn the water temperature up high,
Because maybe the heat will burn through a layer of my storm cloud,
And I wait a while before stepping under the flow,
Hugging my arms tightly around my aching frame.
A song comes on and then another and another
And my tears intermingle with the warmth surrounding me.
It's hard to always be on the verge.
Makes it difficult to speak.
So I close my mouth
And I lock up my heart.
You once whispered to me:
"It's hard to feel this sad and this happy
At the same time."
What a paradoxical feeling.
When the water runs free of shampoo and bubbles,
And I fear you've gone,
I curl up into a towel
Which is soaked in the scent
Of fresh lilies.
My darling.
Guess there's no way I can get rid of you that easily.

I used to sing in the shower
Dance like I was in the rain
Watch all of my worries
Be washed down the drain

I’d use all the hot water up
The mirror covered in steam
So the bathroom was foggy
Like on a cloud, in a dream

I’d wash my body with soap
That smelled just of a daisy
So I was clean and sweet
Then I’d shampoo like crazy

I used to sing in the shower
But that was when I had him
When he left I was drowning
And he knew I can’t swim

So now I sit in the shower
No dancing like in the rain
Because each time I cry
And I remember the *pain

It's a sad, sad life.
  
Going through days without worry,
                                       without fear,  
                                            of being judged by someone in the sky you've never met.

It's heartbreaking and pathetic.

Following morals that feel right,
                                       felt in your heart,
                                           instead going by ancient word in a "holy" book.

I am stupid, I am ignorant.

I believe differently than you, and I shall be outcast,
                                                      condemened to eternal hell,
                                                         because you disagree with me.

Is this what your "God" really wants?