The rhythm of you,
Every beat,
Every symphony,
Pulls me deeper
Into the thought of you
The sensation of you
The essence of you.

But this rhythm has an end,
Beats eventually stop,
Symphonies fade away,
Into nothingness
The mere entity of you
Already steeling
And enveloping me.

You do not exist.

I'm being engulfed
In the clutches of darkness
It's slow-motioned embrace
Calculated and unforgiving
Unrelenting
It's greedy hold
Swallowing me
It's fingers sliding
Over my arms
My legs
Holding delicately
Yet firmly
Sliding over my neck
Caressing my chin
And lapping at my ears
Tainting my field of vision...

Many times do I deny
The reasons why
I feel the pain that I do,
Vying to forget
And cause myself
To suffer ever longer.

But I can only try to
Run away
As I know that these feelings
Will only fray
As they are left
Unobservable by you.

How do I know?
I don't.
But you never saw these feelings
Even though you knew.

And if I were to wait for
Your gaze to fall upon
My stranded feelings
It would be too late.

So that's why I ran away,
Even if my heart is forever stranded,
It'd be easier to forget your smile,
Your voice,
And your soul
And avoid wasting away the
Little strength I have left.

And if by some chance
My eyes were closed this whole time
And if severed the ties that I valued
Over illusions unreal -
No chance to redeem -
I'd have no reason to live
No reason to breathe.

And if I were to compile
All the feelings that I felt
All the pain that was dealt
The time that was spent
The thoughts that were bent
Broken
And made unkempt
Caused my life to run askew
Falling constantly
Slowly losing any rue
Left towards all that I loved...
The clear colours would lose their pure opacity
And wander until
All clarity was lost
In a void of darkness

Stroking the cool surface
that my head rests against
My mind empties of every thought
Every feeling
But the sensation
Of being entrapped within
a point dimension.
...
Reaching past the darkness
As the dimension grows ever larger
Draining my vision,
Stretching my will
thinner and thinner
Is it me who is shrinking
Or is the darkness growing larger?
What is it, that the warmth escapes me
As soon as I reach closer...
Falling out of reach
Never nearly close enough
To fall through my fingers.

That tight feeling in my throat
And that
Air that tugs on my lungs
And that
Urge to tear myself open
In a scream that fills
The empty landscape
...
Closing my eyes,
The cold melding away,
My head sliding down
In a legato staccato of my essence.

An eternal moment.
Dark,
Suffocating,
Tearing.
Alone.

What echoes in the distance,
Whispers in my ears
And wails outside my window at night,
Is your words.
The words that heaved me up
And threw me down,
The words that drew me in
And drained me out,
The words that stole my soul
And left in me a gaping hole...

Your words...
In which was a broken warmth
So when you opened my heart
And cut my veins,
You were never really close
But far away
Your words twisted and vile
Corrupted my mind
And left me defiled.
Lost...
And tired.