The process of loving
It hurts to my bones
And I try to toughen
Though it all feels like traffic cones

Those cones I place down
Attempt sticking to one path
A road leading to a town
Where love doesn’t have as many rules as math

I don’t need love
Is what I heard from a friend
But it sounded so rough
Since I see love as a godsend

And I know it is a constant pain
Watering a dying crop
With my efforts in vain
So why don’t I stop

Stop nurturing that flame
Banish out that feeling
Switch to a different lane
Maybe start healing

But I cannot heal without love
I’d miss the ecstatics
Life would be so tough
Empty like an essay without its appendix

I hear you buzzing
Your tiny hairs so loving
You scour
Eyeing the tastiest wildflower

Not good enough
Going to the next
Finding that good stuff
Putting them all to the test

There it is
The brightest colour
And in a ****
You sit on its collar

Nectar drinking
Easy thinking
Doing your task
No need for a mask

Your buzz fades
Flying away
On a crusade
Into the sunrays

Here I am
Sitting at a simple desk
With a simple light
And a simple book next to me

The bookmark is sticking out on page 10
And in order to move it further
I will have to read
I will have to work
I will have to put my mind to it

Excuses

But life is the same
I feel like that bookmark
Someone has to move me
But doesn’t put their mind to it

I am next to that person
On their simple desk
Under their simple light
Located in a simple book

Why am I left there
Stranded between words
A complete standstill
Because of someone else’s excuses

Pearlescent backdrop
Drapes on top
Silhouette of darkness
Edges showing their sharpness

In the middle of it all
A man’s head not that tall
Seated on a couch
Pretending like a slouch

Constant ponder
Waiting for a wonder
Seeing himself
As a book that’s forever on a shelf

And while he awaits
A change in states
The backdrop fades
Just a man in the shades

Boundaries set
He knows what to expect
So why did I not even try
To keep me for me

Constantly asking questions
Afraid of possible reactions
Feeling so powerful
Yet so wasteful

Promised myself: no tears
Emotions in a casket
Always masking it
Like I could keep that up for years

Realising
Modernising
My train of thought
Throughout the battles I’ve fought

Never been so aware
That one person
Could pave the way
For all things I care

Room full of people;
mind racing
connection chasing
silence embracing

Ton of chatter;
want to be secluded
never included
confrontation eluded

Party is over;
mind at ease
alone with the bees
feels like a disease

Sometimes I feel like a candy wrapper
Found in a lot of places
Seen but not recognized
Never prioritised

All about the unwrapping
See how far they can get
Without shredding
But it's not about the padding

Then to be used
For their filth
To be added to my insides
And wrap back around all my sides

Once I've been toyed with
It's done for
Time to throw me away
Doesn't matter what I say

Simply, trash