Staring at the ceiling in the dark
A new world comes to life

Dancing shadows
Like familiar silhouettes
From memories once so dear
Doing dips and pirouettes
Entangling then seperate
Few seeming so desperate
Whilst others only bid adieu
For not all is too
Far gone, far down
All things shall arise

Ribbons like smoke
Or regrets chains that choke
A serpent, slithering in the mind
Plotting to seize control

A figure of shadow
Creeping by the doorway
Moving soundlessly across the ground
To stop and stare
At the one who dare
Look back
Into the eyes of a darkness.

- Jay M
August 24th, 2020

The light shines so brightly
When all is well
And the heart is complete
Holding on so tightly
All was swell
The world at our feet

Then a force ripped it all away
Told me
That was no place for my heart to stay
Why, why not leave us be?

The light began to hurt
The night began to call
Now and again I fell
With half a heart
Holding on tight
My heart refusing to let go without a fight
Walking like just another day in hell
My soul incomplete

There are many things
That I regret
Some things I wish I could forget
Hit reset
But there isn't one
It's gone

So I hold onto the memories
The big and small
Knowing that I have to let you go
But still refusing to fully do so

Missing you
Through each passing day
Refusing to say
Instead holding it at bay
Keeping a bird in a cage

Searching for a day
When I may
Say my formal goodbye
Knowing it would never fly
My words never to reach your ears
Probably not to see you for years

Come what will
I remain still
Unsure to move
In the game of life
Dreaming to make it through strife

Remember me,
Just as I remember thee,
For 'tis all we have
Now and for a time to come.

- Jay M
August 21st, 2020

Wandering a vast gloom
Only to stumble into a large room
Filled with shelves of books
Some telling of heroes and crooks
None of which I choose to read

Moving aimlessly past the collections
Dwelling on life's rejections
Only to see, just for a moment,
A figure running swiftly by
Evading me just so
But this I shall not let go

The chase begins
So far it wins
Turning and twisting around corners
Dodging my lingering gaze
Slipping away as though called
Leaving me enthralled in the mystery
Not to give up

Breathless, I stop
Mind spinning and fogged
Dizzied by the sudden stop
Almost to collapse-
But caught
In the figures arms
A scent filling my nostrils
So familiar and comforting
Making me feel safe in this madness

Then we fall
The figure flat on their back
Still holding me in their arms
I apologize, but find myself
Strangely unable to shy away
So there I stay
Cozy in their arms
Turning to put my ear over their heart
Quick beats, soon slowing to be at ease

They release a sigh
Of content or defeat
I do not know
But they do not go
So there we lie
Wordlessly calm
For here we did meet
But not for the first time
Or so I believe

My eyes grow tired
Heavy with sleep
Soon upon me it shall creep
But before I fall into a slumber
I ask their name
To which they reply,
"I am in your heart."

- Jay M
August 18th, 2020

So used to the sorrow
One in the chamber
At all times
Cocked and ready
Barely standing
Hold steady
Stick the landing

Get back up and take another shot
Round after round
'Til it's burning hot
Slamming down to the ground
After hours, still not found

Digging up old memories
Pieces of the past
Hopefully the last

Page after page
Drop after drop
No rage
Still, make it stop
A balloon filling, ready to pop

Burn
Let it all go
Crumble to ashes
As it should have been
Years ago

What do you yearn?
A lesson to learn?
Letting it hide inside
Where your demons reside
They're living it up
While you're sitting by
Refusing to say goodbye

Wallin' alone
Breathing it in
The scent of misery
Of pain and relief
Stinging now, unforgiving
But stirring up forgotten brews
Only leaving clues

Burn it up
Break the glass
Let it all go
The past is the past
These pages are the last
Light it up
Get it out
Scatter the ashes
Heal the little slashes
And feed the flames until
The pain is long gone

Crawled my way out
From the depths of my own hell
I will scream and shout
That I'm still fighting
Because the pages and glass are gone
Doesn't mean it's over yet.

- Jay M
August 12th, 2020

Time is a killer
And I'm walkin on the edge
Of its ****** knife

Singin' a little thriller
While going around the hedge
A maze of fear and strife
Throw in a bit of nightmares
And a drop of painful curiosity

Stumbling around
Nothing to be found
But the same **** green
Like a broken machine

Troubleshooting, here we go
Moving about, to and fro
One turn, then the next
Wrong way? No way
All as it should be
Don't try and stay
Go on and leave me

Not the first,
But certainly not the last
To attempt to solve this puzzle
Never able to escape the past

It'll chew you up
Then spit you out
Pour me a cup
Hush now, don't shout
Before they figure it out

The farther in
The worse it gets
It only gets worse
Before it gets better

Release the demon within
A battle, let's see who shall win
Soul or dark parasite
Just don't let it into the light
Oh dear, what a fright
A horrible sight
Is what's left

Nothing is alright
Not all is as it seems

Retrace your steps
Don't leave a path to follow
Or it shall surely leave you hollow

With a single touch
All becomes too much
Cold, yet hot as a flame
What victory was sought to claim?

Glass shatters
As to hearts
Into deadly parts

Grass dies
As do Hope's
Fading like color

But one thing does not break
One thing to never wear thin;
The chains around a melancholy heart

Sheltered by a maze of thorns
The ground laiden with broken glass
Trapped with fragmented dreams
Tainted with the blood of many
Even by the keeper of the heart herself;
Me.

- Jay M
August 11th, 2020

Running, running through my mind
Like cars down a highway
Too many words to say
Pick and choose to find
The perfect things to say

Which will come and go
Just gotta go with the flow
Rain drops rushing down
Crashing from the heavens
Some to meet once again
Welcomed into a cool embrace
Just like running a race
Of beauty and grace

Drop after drop
Soon a flowing river
Never to stop
A simple life giver
Can't let a good crop wither

Some return to the sea
From which they did flee
Only to once more plea
To visit the sky
But ever afraid to fall

Leaving and returning anew
Once more to bid the collective adieu
To remain, crash upon a shore,
Or to be taken into the sky

Don't ask why
For there isn't an answer
But the endless cycle.

- Jay M
August 10th, 2020

Mumbling a storm
Tumbling like debris
Trembling like a blade of grass
Barely rooted in the ground
Outside it's rather warm
Maybe 90°
While towards the core
Sitting stubbornly on my ***
It's a hurricane
Trying to tear away
Refusing to stay
Yet lightning strikes the sand
Reminding of a hidden glass shore
Lost in a pool of sand
Are the fragments of the soul.

- Jay M
August 10th, 2020