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Carissa Lee Jun 2020
I lean into your embrace.
Rough hands press into my chest,
my heart begins to race.
"Who are you?" I ask.
A band begins to play
panic chords set the bass
stress is added to the disarray.
Barely a whisper,
you say,
Carissa Lee Jun 2020
So if I want to burn,
Let me burn!
I am throwing it all away!
All Away!
All the scraps you ever gave me,
all the empty promises you made,
I will set it all aflame,
watch me rise from the ashes!
Birthed by Brimstone,
Birthed by Fire!
I am a phoenix without a name!
Flying Fast!
Flying Blind!
A new town,
a brand new start!
I dare not look back
upon the wreckage of my wake.
What's My Name!
What's my name!
  what's my name?
Won't anyone say my name?
What's my name?
Carissa Lee Jun 2020
Residential Treatment
it isn't what I thought it'd be
I don't know what I had in mind
Perhaps a place to heal,
a place to unwind

But we delve into my conciousness
Past the men who toyed with me
and past the things you'd done to me,
further till my blood ran cold
two figures
a child
a man
my hand in his
as they walk down the corridor
masked by darkness
I dared to cast a glance at him
My eyes returned to the hardwood floor
He opens the door
A dark room, I'm filled with dread
my stomach drops

And then it stops
We're driving home
back in your memory
In your truck,
the place where you hurt me
Your vile touch
Black eyes of greed
Why do I feel safer,
here in the arms of a predator
than where that man took me?
EMDR really brings out a lot of blocked memories, it isn't easy but I've been fighting this battle forever and it's time I take my life back. It's time we all decide to live, not just survive.
Carissa Lee Jun 2020
I know how to say the words
But what's the meaning?
Silent screaming and sore throats
There's a pit in my stomach
But where's the emotion
There's a war in my head
  Jun 2020 Carissa Lee
our mouths go dry,
our actions get lazy,
our anchors unmoored,
our directions change,
our bearings are misaligned,
our charts remain unplotted,
our complacencies swell,
our greed metastasise,
our ignorance nurtured...

How then,
would our story end?

Carissa Lee Apr 2020
Every Morning
Laying by the window pane
He soaks up the sun
Carissa Lee Jan 2020
Food in a box
Plastic wrapped
locked away

I tried to make a salad
what's hiding between the leaves
Creeping and crawling
waiting to hatch inside my stomach?
Something sinister is lurking behind the crevices
I dump the bowl into the garbage
I wrap the head in two plastic bags
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