How big must my megaphone be
For you to hear me?

None of us know each other
None of us want to even try
Or maybe it's just me
And maybe my standards
Are too high

They wouldn't understand
All these strangers down the halls
I sit alone on my bed
And hear giggles through
The walls

And no matter how hard I try
It always comes to this odd end
I have to constantly remind myself
A therapist is not
A friend

Its hard to speak when
We are filled with laughter

Its hard to speak when
The sight of you leaves me breathless

Its hard to speak when
I am distracted by your touch

Its hard to speak when
Our adventures play in my head

Its hard to speak when
Your lips are stuck on mine

Its hard to say I Love You
When i am too busy experiencing the words

Always feeling hated in this world.
I’m nothing but a stupid little girl.
I wish I could just be with you again.
But there’s no more hope I guess we’re both set to mend.
The end for me seems to be near.
I can barely feel anything but the streaming tears.
There’s nothing left but defeat.
Nothing left to do but self medicate and sleep.

When you feel that burn way deep in your chest; the one that forbids you from getting any rest.

When you feel that sting all around your eyes, the one that tells you, you need to cry.

When you feel that ache of being used, and you don’t know what you did, or what to do.

When you feel that panic of not knowing a thing, and he doesn’t care, and yes it stings.

When you feel that sadness of being stomped and crushed, and its getting hard to keep holding up.

When you feel the need to lock the door and find your glass and count to four.

When you feel the urge to break your skin and watch it bleed cause you’re hurting within.

When you lay in bed in the middle of the night, and you know what’s wrong, but not what’s right.

When you miss him so much, and its killing you slow, cause to him you are nothing,

and that much,

you know.

I am just a drama queen
Another over dramatic teen
I sit and cry
When I could fly
But I choose to frown
And feel so down
Being so irrational
And acting all emotional
Pretending I am the center of everything
But I am truly nothing

i am not the kind of sick
that leaves the body flushed
at 104 degrees
in the middle of the winter.

                                                               ­                  i am not the kind of sick
                                                            ­                         that causes every breath
                                                          ­          to force
                                                           ­         its way

                                                               ­    back up

                                                             yo­ur throat
                                                          ­             while dragging razor blades
along the inside of your neck.

                       i am not even the kind of sick
                       that comes with a vaccination
                                  or an antibiotic
                            that will chase it away.
no.
                                                                ­                          i am the kind of sick
that leaves you locked in
the bathroom during class
because you can't seem to stop the
             flow of tears
                       running
                               down
                                     your face.

i am the kind of sick
that leaves your hands
sweating
and your voice
shaking
when it's your turn to order dinner
at the diner you've been to
a thousand times.
                                            
                                             i am the kind of sick
                                         that leaves you feeling

l o n e l y
                                              in a crowded room
                                           filled with the people you've
                                           known your whole life.

i am the kind of sick                                                                  ­                                that nobody sees
                                        because it's all in my head
                                      and cannot be cured.