"You were born to do this."
I reminded myself as I sat there feeling encaged in a flurry of endless thought and emotion.
"Why do I have to feel every aspect of every event of life, so deep?"
I thought as I fought myself once again to simply pick up the pen and drain the overflow of despondency onto paper.
"Breathe."
The words, letters, verbs and thoughts continued to swirl in my ever rampantly unsettled abyss of ideation.
Once I surrendered to the raging of the erupting of the soul..there was calm.
It's likened to the deaf..taken away their ability to sign..The dancer with both feet removed.
Had I no other pleasure but to expel grief, fervor and elation and form them into words to heal the shattering so entrenched..they appear unreachable..I'd beg to be buried with just a writing utensil and endless reams of freshly pressed paper.
"Theres Light."*
I mouth that..as I continue to jot as if I were stitching my heart back together with this pen.
Even though I'm within this seemingly grave like cave of aching..I can write.
The beauty is in the creation..The ability to construct, like a carpenter..all that your heart desires with your own two hands..to simply Heal the paragraphs of life that were written badly, write over them or erase and rewrite..if only it were that easy.
I don't aim to undo..I cannot.
Just to poetically fabricate from this point on..allow the stumbles to happen and Love greater than thought fathomable.
Surrender. To the page.
Scribble it out, empty it onto line after line..and crawl atop..until the words fill the fragments and the ink stains your fingertips..Keep climbing upon the proverbial stacks of paper until the towers reach the aperture of the pit.
Creating the mending of affliction, soothing the misery of the choking of words you cannot utter, but you can scratch them onto tablets to deplete the churning of the mind.
Write. Write badly.
Write as if in a mad race to the finish line, then start over again..Until the trails of Letters stretch so long..you could dance upon them for days.
Then Breathe.
Soak every word into your skin as if attempting to heal the afflictions..
then Become it.

this here
is a saga of a child
lonely and sad
seeking faith in the wild

born of fear
forbidden to love
but loves everything
he sees and touches

claps his hands
but didn't know it's war
growing up was hard
with peace no more

was told of fairy-tales
of an imperil utopia
then given guns
in place of arcadia

the boy remains
a boy no more
with ****** khakee shirts
and bones sore

shown a path to hate
and misery
but tears in his eyes
missing his family

prays to a god
who does not exist
grudges on leaders
and failed politics

finds his savior
in an stranger's bullets
they said it was the enemy
but it was just people

If it wasn't for the pessimist
What would the optimist do
They'd have no earthly idea
What was needed to pull through

Or the gravity of the situation
And how to handle it best
Without the negative of the pessimist
What would fill the optimists head

Without the doom and gloom of the pessimist
Positive would be a lost cause
My best guess is that the optimist
Needs the pessimist after all

RISING SUN  RISE UP THE SKY,
BE LIKE A RISING SUN AND BRIGHT IN THE  WORLD,
BRIGHT YOUR HEART WITH  NEW  WISHES,

WAKE UP FROM YOUR DEEDS,
WAKE UP FROM YOUR SINS,
WAKE UP FROM YOUR OLD ROUTINE,

BREAK UP  YOUR BAD HABITS,
BREAK UP YOUR WEAK MINDS,
BREAK UP  YOUR EVIL THOUGHTS,

DRY UP  YOUR CHEATING SKILLS,
DRY UP YOUR BETRAYING HABITS,
DRY UP YOUR TRECHEROUS  MIND,
DRY UP YOUR HATING SKILLS.

Stop! She's hurting
Everyday all she thinks about is dying
She doesn't want to hear anything
because she would always end up crying

Her mom doesn't understand
she had nothing, including her dad
everyone around her is mad
not knowing they're the reason why she's sad

they're so fond of humiliating her
including her dearest mother
she always hides on a corner
isolating herself, thinking it will be over


She had nothing left, but the blade
it's her bestfriend & her aid
all the sufferings temporarily fade
with her blood dripping when she laid

Her feet rose and fell
between fields of paddy

the grass bowed
then looked up on her way.

If only she had wings
and the winds carried her to her sister
she could land right on the yard of her hut
and take her home by the return flight
but her mind soared no less
so before the sun favored the west
she was right by her
laughing and talking like the yore
with only a line of vermilion
that she felt had come between them.

Soon she looked around
and making sure no one was watching
brought out from her skirt a mango.

She gave it to her like
she was giving a piece of her heart
plump yellow green
with the most delicious nectar hidden within
and when she narrowed her lips
to drink from the gift
her tears poured like the summer rain
mingling with the cries of the parched earth.