Whenever I’m feeling down, you’re there to make things better.
Today, you wrapped me up in a sweater.
It’s warm and I close my eyes. Savor the moment.
You’re standing in front of me, putting up ornaments.

I guess I forgot. Christmas is coming soon.
I’m supposed to give you your present this afternoon.
Before I know it, the moment’s arrived.
I walk towards you, prepping for the surprise.

When I show you it, your face changes for a while.
There was no mistaking it. A smile.

Looking into your eyes
Makes my heart beat fast
And my breath hitch in my throat
I'm left speechless at the sight of you.

The words I meant to say
Don't come out quite right.
I stammer and stumble my words
Yet you giggle and say it's okay.

We looked at the stars together
And you pointed out a constellation or two
In that moment, our hands met
And you brought your lips to mine.

At times I feel nervous around you
And I'm unsure of what to say
But you're always there
To strike up a conversation anyway.

Your hugs are really warm.
And my heart is hammering out of my chest.
I find myself blush
When you call me that nickname I cherish

And I realize that I can't get enough of you.

Stay with me,
I plead to you
As I grip your hand
Mine is slick with sweat.

My heart beats quickly
As my fears rush into my mind
"Will you leave me? Please don't go."
You just smile and say 'no.'

I know you won't leave me.
My heart wants to come out of my chest
But it's okay.
Because I know you're scared too.

You think that you're not good enough
Or that you're a bad girlfriend
I'm here to tell you that that's
Wrong, wrong, and super wrong!

You're an amazing girlfriend, dummy!
Despite your likes and kinks
I don't care about any of that.
If it makes you happy, then it's okay.

Our eyes meet
And lips part
As I whisper to you:
"I'm not leaving either."

I don't care what they might think
I don't care about their words
I know, deep inside, that these feelings are true.
And my beating heart seems to agree.

Whenever I'm down
Fighting back tears
Trying to hold on despite my fears
You're there in the distance.

Whenever I'm low
Sinking into the ground
You're there to pull me up
And tell me it's okay.

Whenever I'm panicking
You hold me in your arms
You shush me, and simply stay.
And I melt against your warmth.

I feel like whenever I open up
I release the floodgates; the depths of my mind
Yet you don't run away. You stay by my side.
And try to help me through it all.

Even though I'm shaking
Even though my tears seep into your shirt
You're there for me.
And I feel safe. I feel…something more.

You might not think you're cute
But I think you're beautiful.
And you might not think you're good enough
But I think you're perfect.

It's funny how in times of distress
We're there to help each other every time.
And even though we're crying and uncertain of the future
I'm sure that together, we can brave the oncoming storms.

The past few days have been full of pain
As I lie down in bed again.
When I open my mouth, it yells at me to shut it
So I sigh and quit trying to fight it.

I can’t eat or chew
Without my jaw breaking too
Can’t drink or sip, it seems
Unless I want my gums to scream

I can’t even function properly
Everything I do, I end up doing sloppily
Sometimes, I think of ripping my tooth out
I already know I’ll be better off without
This tooth, one of four that you don’t get at youth
Oh, how I wish I could rid myself of this wisdom tooth.

I awake to a new day
Yet feel unenthusiastic.
Unlike most others, I don't really care
That the new day brings upon a new year.

It just means milestones occur.
Important events. Changes.
My birthday's in 16 days.
Adulthood approaches rapidly, and I'm unprepared.

Am I immature? Am I not ready?
I'm unsure. Yet I remain steadfast.
I'm not ready for this change.
That day will only add pressure on me.

Their expectations are high, I suppose.
"You're going to be a computer engineer." Or something like that.
But I'm…confused. Parts of it I'm not good at.
And I'm left wondering if I even care about that class anymore.

What if I don't want to pursue that?
Will it be a waste of my "talent" or is it just a fleeting interest?
I suppose I could take up writing but…
We all know that's just wishful thinking.

My mind's clouded, uncertainty filling it to the brim.
And as each minute passes, I just count down the days
Until I can talk to her again.
Even if we're far from each other, we'll still be connected.

Just like the days before.
And then, I'll make her smile.
In that moment, I'll forget about my own troubles.
And focus on hers.

Is this a bad thing to do? Probably.
Do I care too much? Perhaps.
Will this help me forget about everything though?
No. It won't. But at least I can be happy.

Even if that's for a few hours a week.

Hey, dummy.  
I have this feeling in my tummy.  
It feels weird, like a constant pang.  
A rhythmic sound in my head, sounding like a bang.  
A constant echoing.  
That just keeps bellowing.

I’ve always liked you, you know.  
Or maybe you don’t, considering you never show  
When I want to go to all these places  
I swear there’s a crack between the spaces  
In my mind  
Every request I shot your way, you declined.  
It hurts, it hurts so bad  
How did I end up feeling this sad?  
Day after day, week after week  
I can’t help but feel more bleak

I want to confess, I really do.  
But I don’t know if you’ll feel the same way too.  
Every day, when we hang out  
You just want to do your own thing; it feels me with doubt  


Whatever, you dummy!  
Who cares if I’m feeling more and more crummy?  
It doesn’t matter, right? My feelings don’t mean anything.  
But then again, I can’t help but feel you’re my everything.  
I want to tell you how I feel.  
But…are my feelings even real?  
I can’t think! I can’t decide!  
Why am I still crying inside?

I can’t let you see.  
What’s really inside me.  
All this pain, it belongs in here  
Along with all of these moments I hold dear.  
I cherish my time with you.  
Sometimes, I’m wondering if my feelings are true.  
I’m tired of feeling this way  
But I just can’t let you walk away.  
If I tell you the truth, what will become of us?  
Will you just leave me to turn to dust?  

Ugh! I can’t make up my mind!  
Am I dense or am I just blind?  
The truth is here, right in front of me!  
Then why can’t I just let my feelings be?  
What am I afraid of?  
Am I afraid of rejection or love?  
I don’t know, the clouds in my head are swirling.  
This pain in my heart…it just keeps burning.  
I have to do something to make this stop.  
I might as well just let the truth drop.

It's funny how
When you're away
I miss you.
And that hurts.

I want to
Tell you more
About how I feel
Yet the words don't come forth.

I still hope that someday
We can meet, but sometimes
I feel as if that's just
Some sort of fantasy.

Yet somehow, I know in my heart
We'll be together, but is it just
Something I want or desire?
Or could it be something more?

You're a strong person, you know?
Just hearing everything you've been through
It makes me shake with anger
But at the same time, I'm hopeful for where you'll end up.

I love you, darling.
And sometimes I feel as if I can't convey that enough
In a simple message.
Am I doing something wrong?

I just can't wait until the day
We talk about stupid jokes and laugh
And then share kisses
Beginning to explore deeper places.

It's funny how whenever I write
One of these I wonder to myself:
"Will it reach her?"
It's funny because I already know the answer.

In school, you're always asked the typical question
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
What if you don't know the answer?
How are you supposed to find out what you want to do?

Sure, you could go to college and find out then
But then there's the fear of student loans and costs
Then they ask, "why don't you get a job?"
Easy for you to say, I don't know where to start.

No social skills, no experience doing anything.
And you fear being exploited or mistreated cause of your quirks.
So then you just do nothing, and let your ability to write fade
The one apparent thing you were good at. As if.

So then you wallow away at home
And it's convenient cause of what's going on right now
But what happens when all this is over? Then what?
Do you just continue to engage in sloth?

You'll rot away doing nothing
Wasting your time on stupid games and special interests
Get off your ******* *** and do something with yourself
Go out and be a productive member of society

Get a job and make the rich richer
And watch as any optimism you thought you had crumbles
Whatever it takes to get those thoughts in your head to stop
The constant thoughts that you amount to nothing