Summer

Summer Nov 2015

feel the presence of yr death,

taste yr ashes on the tongue.

early you went.

to join the mad,

the young,

the genius.

early you went.

that’s how the beautiful go,

blessed with yr holy madness and rage.

you

held hell hell hell.

but they saw

heaven heaven heaven.

your eyes swallowed with desire.

romanticized with pain

god, you had so much love

so much love.

los angeles would have killed you anyway,

I can still hear yr dog whistle from my bedroom, baby.

IT’S GETTING LOUDER.

IT’S GETTING LOUDER.

I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING.

I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING.

YOU’RE GONE AND I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING.

every word you chose not to speak,

every word you held on yr ***** tongue.

everything.

the words that meant something you never spoke,

that were not empty like yr veins.

like your promises.

like your heart.

killed yourself to make things fair

Summer Nov 2015

yr the reason i still believe in ghosts

i saw a woman on a willow tree when i was seven yrs old
and she disappeared into the summer air
am i going to be this way forever
am i going to keep believing in ghosts
i saw a woman on that willow tree
claimed she was an angel of god
eyes cut daggers
was she a ghost or was it in my head?
was she a ghost or was it in my head?
bless my holy sins and suffering
and give me something else to believe in
but leave her ghost to sit on top of that beautiful tree
so when i look up i can still see the empty space she occupied once.
i still believe in ghosts
and i can still feel you in the air
forgive me for my lack of reality
I love you

#sad #god #sadness #scared #past #ghost #heaven #scary #freeverse #ghosts

Summer Nov 2015

crying over u

Crying on the side of the road
Flowers in your bed
Heaven doesn't exist to you anymore
Because you put all your faith in an undeserving boy's body.
he was your new religion
a saint
a young god
his words were your holy bible
You would hear before you prayed to him every night
and right now she’s falling in love with you
but yr still crying over him
whiskey is filling yr bones
smoke is filling yr lungs
know- self destruction will not get you into heaven faster
heaven was his arms
and
he doesn’t hold you anymore.
you wonder if you will ever be the same again.
when you met him you were cotton candy and sunshine
and now you are shadows and blood stained showers
but do you want to be the same?
do you want to be the same person
who believed everything in the world was sunshine?
who would put yourself into an unworthy boy’s hands?
you are still crying over him
and she’s still falling in love with you

i'm sorry

#love #sad #sadness #crying #ink #spilled #freeverse

Nov 2015

Got Guanxi

twisted blue soul

twisted blue soul,

everyone says their blue for you,
not me,
not me.

they told me you were beautiful,
i can’t see,
i can’t see.

they said you had a twisted blue soul,
that can’t breathe,
that can’t bleed.

i didn’t believe those rumours,
gold.
can’t be,
can’t be.

the blue prints in the news prints shown,
that
gifted
twisted
bluest
soul,

ice cold shoulders,
bold.
why me?
*why me?

Summer Nov 2015

to all the boys who pretended to love me

do not offer to take me home with you.
this body is breaking down
and i do not need any more of your
toxins or bullet holes.
with all your strong hooks
and pretty words.
i do not need your validation.
i felt something from you
but it was not love.
i do not need you to be whole.
your jokes about dying are not funny,
but everybody is laughing.
these lines are not about you
they are about no one
you like my lips
you love your gun
you like my hips
you love her tongue ***.
i do not mean anything to you.
when i sat in silence for hours ,
you could not handle it.
my silence should've told you that
i keep a bottle of pills by my bed.
if i told you i needed those to keep me happy,
would you still want me?
the answer is no.
the way you screamed at me when i said i was sad
told me that.
words don’t always tell you what you need to know.
this body is breaking down,
and your false care will not mend it.

#ex #poem #sad #pills #depression #sadness #boyfriend #rant #freestyle

Summer Nov 2015

Honey dreams

sweet touches,
uncomfortable eyes,
faces covered with daft smiles.
your knees shake.
trying to pronounce words
you do not understand.
the flowers are wilting
winter is coming.
they are just asleep.
they are bodies desolate of
sweet honey dreams

#poetry #word #flowers #nature #ink #poems #spilled #spoken #prose #freestyle