This  fate
has kept me sleepless
The psycohological
Inlogical pain

I ate with no hunger
and kissed you with no regret
I slept far too long in your bed

Comfortable with pain
I became.


I think I asked myself
once
if I should
**** myself

asking the universe

Why

and went back to sleep

telling myself

Why not.

The day I stopped loving you
I stopped loving the world.

alive and well
Like the rythms that
leave my body
innocent and pure
Building steadily
through flashbacks

I've failed and fallen
I´m terrified of my own reflection
Perhaps I betrayed myself
by loving you and then leaving
Maybe I was a secret never meant
to be shared.
But I could never keep myself
in place.
I would break all over you
and catch the pieces
Was  I wrong making
my wishes out of your dreams
I´ve lost you in so many ways
and found you in all the wrong places
I keep thinking that you might
keep me from falling
But insted you make me tremble
Maybe  Im just in love with
the way you handle my heart.

But I  grew in the shade
Thriving in my lonesome
never becoming attached
to a beating heart.
I learned how to discard
of love and feelings
before they found a way to plant
theirselfs in my garden
For years, I expanded
In the existence of nothingness
I spring up
To a gradual process never
leaning on anything
nor anyone.
Because when you
grow .
You never look down.

I influence
one life
only to tear the next down
I reward one part of my body
and dump my problems
on an already filled mind
I am a surgeon
who will cut anything
but itself
I am the theif that stabs
you for a penny.
I am the opposite of good intention
and the opposite of blessed harmony
I could go deeper and pollute
the enviroment
To the world I came as a gift
but to the grave I return as a burden
I never did  care, nor could
care  for anything but myself.
Even in death I spill
poison into earth