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Amber Jan 2016
This  fate
has kept me sleepless
The psycohological
Inlogical pain

I ate with no hunger
and kissed you with no regret
I slept far too long in your bed

Comfortable with pain
I became.


I think I asked myself
once
if I should
**** myself
Amber Jan 2016
asking the universe

Why

and went back to sleep

telling myself

Why not.
Amber Dec 2015
The day I stopped loving you
I stopped loving the world.
Amber Dec 2015
alive and well
Like the rythms that
leave my body
innocent and pure
Building steadily
through flashbacks
Amber Dec 2015
I've failed and fallen
I´m terrified of my own reflection
Perhaps I betrayed myself
by loving you and then leaving
Maybe I was a secret never meant
to be shared.
But I could never keep myself
in place.
I would break all over you
and catch the pieces
Was  I wrong making
my wishes out of your dreams
I´ve lost you in so many ways
and found you in all the wrong places
I keep thinking that you might
keep me from falling
But insted you make me tremble
Maybe  Im just in love with
the way you handle my heart.
Amber Dec 2015
But I  grew in the shade
Thriving in my lonesome
never becoming attached
to a beating heart.
I learned how to discard
of love and feelings
before they found a way to plant
theirselfs in my garden
For years, I expanded
In the existence of nothingness
I spring up
To a gradual process never
leaning on anything
nor anyone.
Because when you
grow .
You never look down.
Amber Dec 2015
I influence
one life
only to tear the next down
I reward one part of my body
and dump my problems
on an already filled mind
I am a surgeon
who will cut anything
but itself
I am the theif that stabs
you for a penny.
I am the opposite of good intention
and the opposite of blessed harmony
I could go deeper and pollute
the enviroment
To the world I came as a gift
but to the grave I return as a burden
I never did  care, nor could
care  for anything but myself.
Even in death I spill
poison into earth
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