You are the sky
While I'm of dirt and earth
Sharing the universe in separate realms
Conflicting factions, diverse births

I would forever look up
Rest my gaze on the tide of the air
And dream for our eyes to meet
Temporary eternity that we would share

I've cried many a teardrop
But you can never know
Because to you they never could reach
For into my core they'd only flow

But when you stare down sullenly
Your tears would fall, soaking my plane
I'd drink the drops voraciously
Those gifts of love from heaven's rain

Your tears would nurture the seeds I've planted
They'd take root and flourish in the sun
Resolve in my soil held firmly in place
Thinking our journey forth would've then begun

Roots would give birth to stem
Which in turn, would branch out into leaves
Plantling will eventually grow up high
To give back the love, it constantly receives

Such misfortune little sprout
You can only grow so tall
You can never reach that far
You and I can only kiss the drops that fall

So... My beautiful sky of azure
I am but dust on fate's heavy feet
We can only look to the faraway horizon
Only there could heaven and earth truly meet

J,
I painted a picture of the deep blue sea today.
Mrs. A said she loved how I put the sea in the shape of a sphere
Going from a deep sapphire, to a light cerulean,
Until it reaches an inky blackness in the middle.
Such art.

I said thank you.

I didn't tell her about your blue eyes,
And how they reminded me of the sea.
And the air and the heat,
And the earth and life.

I didn't tell her how it feels,
When your eyes glaze over me
Like my soul carries no body.

E asked me this week
If I still collected sharpeners,
Before she whispered about how you got engaged.

I'm so happy for you.
Honestly:
I'm so happy for you it hurts.

I think she wished I hadn't heard her.
I bought more sharpeners that day.

I saw Dr. O yesterday.
She asked me if I still heard your voice
When everything's dead at night.
I know you're not wondering:
But I do.

She asked me if I'm taking my meds,
And sometimes I don't want to,
And sometimes I just want to take them all at once,
But I said I did.

She asked me about the letters.
I told her I filled my fifth box that day.

She told me to stop,
Because they weren't doing me any good.

That's why I wrote you a poem today.
I hope you don't mind.

I saw you with her this evening,
And your family,
And her family.
That's a lovely ring.

I know you're doing well,
And I know you're loved.

I hope you will always stay golden.
Really. I mean it.

Happy Holidays.

Perched quietly on the dark oak wood
Gleaming, so bright. So .. beautiful?
Waiting
Waiting
No. I mustn't. Fight it.
Withhold the temptation.
Breathe.
Don't let go.
Stop it from screaming.
Please.
Stop it from staring.
Come now, just hold me tightly.
Keep me close and don't let go.
Just a touch, just this once
Stay with me
A scratch on the surface
Not too deep
Again and again and again.


© maria.who

The other day
When I said that your face reminds me of a rhinoceros
I wasn't saying that you look like a bulky box
Or that your skin looks grey
I was really trying to say that
You make me feel like there are a hundred
5 ton mammals stampeding across my heart
And sometimes when I look at you
I can't even breathe
Because all the weight of wanting this
Crushes my lungs til my chest burns like an African desert
Consequently most rhinos are found in Africa
And I researched all of this in the hopes that
Maybe you would understand

You see the thing is I am not good with emotions
And I know as much about love as I know about quantum physics
And I don't even know what quantum physics is about
Or what it means for that matter

I've been trying to read all the romance novels that I could find
I've been trying to watch all the rom-coms I can torrent
Hell I even watched Valentine's Day thrice
But I still don't know what to do when I'm with you

I am unsure and clumsy and petrified
So much so that I can't even work up the courage
To hold your hand
I'm trying, I really am
It's just so **** difficult
When falling in love feels more like
Jumping out of a helicopter
A hundred thousand feet up
Without a parachute on

One day I will be able
To directly say what I really mean
Without metaphors involving animals
That only I understand
But for now let me just say
Your face reminds me of a rhinoceros

I have to  let go. . .

Breathless, these words spill from
Places scarred by the echoes
Of the gunshots that took
So many lives.

Why did you do it?
Does the sunlight fall
Across those halls
Differently than it did before?
Why did you do it?
Cold hard guns gripped in
Fingers that didn't feel
Or hands that couldn't bear
The weight of the bullets' wounds.
Why did you do it?
Hearts that don't beat
For humanity, or
Compassion, or
Even decency.
Why did you do it?
May the insides of
Your eyelids always
Carry the imprint
of your crimes.

Horrendous gunmen.

Things they don't know,
Side I don't show,
A side that is tightly tied,
The person I've built inside.

She's the one who-
Zooms out the reality,
And also the one,
Who captures the clarity.

Deadly silence,
Claiming emptiness,
When its me who's tense,
she tires to bring some happiness.

I have built her,
She has made me,
We're for each other,
The other side of me.


-Sania Opai ♥