I don't know
If I'm just
Too afraid
To let you go
Because you're
Someone familiar
Or if
I truly can't
Let you go
Because I'm still
So very in love
With everything you are
But either way
You're breaking my heart
By not loving me back
By not wanting me
By leaving me so cold
And I never thought
That being in love
Would hurt so much

I'm afraid
To make you
My muse
Because if
You break my heart
I'll have
A book of poems
That I'll
Never want to read

I rub my hands
Along my scalp
I watch the hair
Fall in the sink
Bleach blonde hair
With mousey brown roots
Locks upon locks
Falling to the sink
I tell myself I'm brave
I can do this
My hair will grow back
Yet I still cry
As I watch all the hair
That he touched
Fall to the sink
The hair that he stroked
The hair that he pulled
The hair that he brushed
out of my eyes
I watch him leave my head
Along with the last thing he touched
My hair

I thought
I was
coming around
to the idea
of being alone
Because during the day
it's easy
to be so alone
It's not until
the night falls
that I realize
I need an inhaler
But the pharmacy
is closed
and I'm
all alone
in my mind
Which is a
dark, scary place

I was fine
Until
I wasn't
and by then
I was alone
so nobody's here
to notice
I'm not fine
to notice
how alone I am

He doesn't really love me
None of these guys do
They're just looking
For a quick, hot ****

I'm no different
Than a trip to McDonald's
Fast food
Fast ****
It doesn't have to be good
It just has to be quick
Easy
Convenient
Cheap
With a short line

Three months later
And I still find
Your curly black hair
In my brush
In MY brush
Because for some reason
Three months later
I can't be rid of you
When I think I'm done
When I think I'm over
Clear
Fresh
Finally finished
Thoughts of you
Plague my mind
Memories flood me
Dreams arouse me
And I am
Overcome
I am yours
Once more
In those thoughts
Those memories
Those dreams
We're back
To the way we were
Happy
Loving
Wrapped in each other
Until I open my eyes
Shake my head
And scream
Scream at you
At the way
You ended things
The dream ends
And I remember
I'm just cleaning
A ******* hair brush

I want you to know
That I'm the best
You'll ever have
Because not many
Women
Could put up
With your *******
Your indecisiveness
Your inattentive responses
Your tired love making
Your hurtful jokes
Your empty love

Move on fast
Move on slow
Search high
Search low
I'll still be
The ******* best
You ever had
And that's
Your cross
To bear
Because I'm still
The best
And you're just alone

Lost without me
Without my love
Without my lips
Without everything
That makes me
The best you've
Ever had