I am always here,
and will be forever.
So don't worry if ever,
I may be not your partner,
because I am not suited;
to be with you together.

I am stuck in life,
where I want to give up already.

But hell no,
life is short--
so I need to broaden it;
for it to be worth it.

As we grow older
Life becomes shorter
Shorter yet becomes harder
Shaking and trembling which is the sign of our life have become bitter.

The grave is waiting and waving,
Which is our next adventure in life is coming,
But probably it will be a lonesome day,
That no one is will be with us especially when we're gonna play.

Days, Months, and Years had passed by,
Yet I still don't know why,
That I fell in love with you suddenly,
And can't even explain my feelings to you completely.

I always wonder why I'm afraid,
Loving someone I could never have,
Even just in a day or week or so-so that could be paid,
And couldn't make me sob.

I always find guilty to myself,
That why I couldn't have done it before,
When I was conscious to myself,
Although I couldn't make sure.

Feelings that are untold,
Should at least be real,
Than fraud feelings should be told,
And feelings that are compelled.

Don't look down yourself,
so no one will judge you.

Don't compare yourself to others,
because you were amazing more than them.

Don't be sad,
just be optimistic.

Don't always say you're wrong,
'cause we've never been a perfect one,

Imperfections were made in this world yet we continue to struggle and pursue living for our loved ones.

in my dreams,
you were there,
and as I wake up,
you are still there,
but in someone else's presence.

A cavalryman who is too afraid to protect,
cannot even unsheathe its sword,
even if it means to protect someone,
or even itself;
but he can't--
because he is a craven cavalryman.

I don't know about my life anymore.
I am neither having rainbows nor butterflies in life.
Negativity surrounds me every time.
People always had their happiness,
but mine only sometimes does.
It is way too uncanny--
that maybe I am cared and confronted with the darkness in life.

Each day and every night
I always think if I'm even right,
That loving someone in reality is real,
Or maybe just in fairy tale.


Particle between of our love and care,
Had never given a thought if it is near,
But even though that it is distant,
I will still always think that it's never been an important.

If love is really an intimacy,
Can it still be called genuine or maybe just a fantasy?
But some people only do love to have an odyssey,
Or perhaps there is a reason which is you are guilty.


Moreover, if you only see me being friendly,
Then I'll accept it thoroughly,
Even though that there's no us,
But my love will still not turn into rust but remain just.


Perhaps you don't love me,
Still I will love you deeply,
Subsequently, I had never knew,
That I was only dreaming about you.

There are too many changes,
But when you think it's way too vague,
Before and now are not the same,
In my opinion and on the other people.

Before, if the hands were grasped, church is the destination,
Now, myriad of expenses to make the woman yours,
Before, if there is an assignment, the eyes were only in the library,
Now, used are technologies, you can rest and chill, you already got an answer,

Before, when it's about courting, it's through serenade,
Now, when a man is courting, a woman is already pregnant,
Before, plenty of women looked like Maria Clara,
Now, plenty of women already liberated.

The changes that are unavoidable,
Because these are already had happened,
This poem describes,
About before and now's uniqueness.

A feeling that don't want us to tell them,
A feeling that don't want us to hurt them,
A feeling that don't want to be apart on them,
A feeling that it's hard to accept without them,
A feeling that you're going to be lonely without them,
And a feeling that you don't want to be in a dim.

Although, none knows that they already knew,
That you already did hurt someone you knew,
That you are already apart with someone you knew,
That you are already suffering yet accepting without them,
That you are already in your room, bearing with your loneliness,
That you are already in your room, having to face the darkness.

I tried not to, but in the end, I get up.                            

       I tried not to, but in the end, I fought.            

      I tried not to, but in the end, I trusted.

                     I tried not to, but I gave up.          
        
                                                I tried not to, but I'm pessimistic.

                                                          I tried not to, but I liked.

                                                                               I tried not to, but I fell.

Every poet is a wonderful poem lover,
Should you not halt to be an inspirer,
Let the world know who you are,
Even if a thing remains just a scar.

Every poem is created by a wonderful poet,
Should you not halt to interpret--
Of someone's love that is also yours,
Though it was for them, not yours.

Love is a painful word for those who cannot attain,
But let it just become a pain,
For someday as a poet -- poetry will be your love in life,
May it be in the afterlife.

A knight who is too afraid to protect,
cannot even unsheathe its sword,
even if it means to protect someone,
or even itself;
because he is a coward knight.

Slowly by slowly,
People get easily deceived,
Never knew that love isn't even real,
Because they will just leave you hanging.

But I am tired of consulting,
When I was just fragile one,
Who also did fall easily,
And got hurt in the end.

Life does not need any kind of gifts.
May it be Christmas today--
but gifts are not imperative.
Because everday
life is a gift.

She was like a black rose,
such beauty in sadness.

Sometimes I apologize to people,
not just because they might get mad.
But because they might get sad--
that their day is ruined
because of the things that shouldn't have happened.

Had a crush on her
Was a friend of her
Her smile always made my day glitter
It even also made my heart quiver

Then happily we graduated
With her glamorous face yet unexpected
Shone in her beautiful dress
The day that took away my stress.

We both then did not saw each other
Even though in social media I could not even bother
Because I am not an ideal one for her
And because I am a mere commoner.

When we saw each other's face again, nonetheless
I just couldn't even bother less
Because I am not in a place to bother her
Especially when now she's happier.

She has changed too much
I couldn't even get a touch
And we just stare at each other but just briefly
Albeit I just can't accept the fact verily.

The fact that we're not even meant to be
But excuse me, did I even made her happy?
Or it's just that I am only trying to be pally?
Or just trying to be a one even though I loved her unrequitedly?

In this world, it is better to tell the truth–
despite telling a lie–
than to receive a hundred of goodbye.

One person can not become
                                                        a  poet,                  
                         if he will hurt
                the woman's heart
                                                       and              
                     only do writes
                                   a poem.

memories
are fading
slowly by slowly,
forcing ourselves
to remember something
may just exhaust
ourselves.

it could be
better
to forget
even though
it's something
important
'cause there's no
choice
of remembering
something
when they've already
forgotten
us.

Loving you was my biggest regret,
Knowing that you weren't even concrete,
Even though that I already knew, I bet.
But I am still thinking about you over and over even if it means death.

The fragments of our love and trust,
Has been already turned into a lust,
Lust that made you find another, how unjust,
But ****, hope sooner it will last.

However, you made me feel what is right,
That next time when I love I should choose which is even right to fight,
And I should not let go but hold so tight,
To the someone I really love and so that she will not leave me in a despair yet lonely night.

For the word of Fiction--
I eventually found out--
And it made sense to me;
When I began to fall in love.

I love you, but I will set you free.
Though it seems it is one of the hardest parts in me,
Accepting is the only way to get rid of thee,
Even though I can not accept if you ain't with me.

No one will wipe your tears when you cry,
No one will care and guide you when you are sick,
No one will canoodle you when your lips are dry,
And most crucially, no one will solace you when you are heartsick.

Yes, you are already free,
But I just can't easily forget and flee,
When all of the time I sinned on you; you would forgive me,
Still, this is the path which is both good just for you and me.

we are all just the same
obsessed with one thing
seeking as always
hungered for it.

but,
it is a paradoxical thing
even though it can only be found in our surroundings
and, kind of absurd.

we are really obsessed with it...
but because of it--
some people died and suicided;
but some went crazy and depressed.

Roses are glamorous yet can be addictive,

Feelings are always proactive,

But you are more than roses,

Your name has a rose,

But you were neither mine nor has ever become mine,

You were someone who always makes me fine,

But you've suddenly changed,

And becomes a rose which is actually now strange,

Your scent slowly died,

Now, I don't know what to do when I am always tied,

Strengths are leaving me,

You as a rose weakens me,

But even though you've died,

I still looked forward to my feelings which I've really relied.

Someone just suddenly asked me,
"Define what is beautiful".
I was horrified,
yet intricated and gave it a thought.

Albeit, yes, I defined it--
but through drawing.

I drew you.
Because I believe that in my heart not in eyes--
that you have a beautiful heart
which I adored too much.

Life is tough yet short.
But death is eternity.
Life will last; soon you also will.
Forgive those who trespass on you.
And forget those mistakes that you have had been made and done.
Judgment is by the law as well and fairly just,
But God will be, above all--gonna judge us.
Repent, for you who trespassed.
And live in a tranquil life.

Feelings are iffy
Whether if I tell her or maybe not
But I cannot help it
Even though I may end up suffering.

Playing in the game where I am only alone
There's no one I can lean with but just me alone.
I am a disgusting one yet I keep nurturing myself
And there's even no possibility that I could have her.

I can't have my turn but I won't give up so easily
Albeit I think I am almost done
With this absurdity love of my towards on her
And probably it's a paradoxical thing that I shouldn't even bother.

Back then as a child,
I was still scared of scary stuff such as ghosts or dead spirits.

But right now,
I am kind of scared to humans already-
which I may end up dying because of them.

Thee might tell someone about my name later,
Together with thy bitter mouth with lies,
Thee may think I am nothing but a filthy being,
But I know my limit and place.

Thy existence angers my life
For it is the reason why I am in a bedlam.
And for a phenomenon of mine is in a thread;
A thread in which there are numerous strings.

Together with thy loathsome mouth and lies.
Weakening my life as a human being.
Upsetting me every daylight and night.
Just like suns and moons.

May they full of lights,
But can deceive others.
And even if you tell someone about me later,
But I know--that I'll still stand up and hoist myself.

Soon, as I grow older
I'll still seek of your love
even though it may become weaker.

Sometimes in life,
I wished I could really also be
a joyful person.

But a wish is just
a mere wish,
and there's probably no possibility of it.

Because I am just like a zany clown,
hiding all its pain--through being happy but pretentiously.

I wrote this
because I am inspired,
not that because
I am tired;
of being lied.

Full of miseries
Tried to run
Because life isn't so fun
But someone tied me into the tree
So I can't flee

I need a plan
I need to get it done
I have to escape
But first, I have to be safe

Found a sharp stick
But I can't even pick
I am gravely wounded
Though it can still be bounded

Escape
Be safe
Lie low
But most of all, make sure no one else can see me

I ran after then
I saw a road
There's a light and a noise of a car
Someone's talking

I cried
I am now save
But not so
They were not a human

I ran again (rattled)
Searched for a mirror
But found a glass instead
Took a look and was disgusted

****, I am not a human
What a degenerated face
Looks like a disgrace
But a monstrous creepy face.

Every person's life
has a thing called "betrayal".
Because even your own feelings
can betray you.

You're just like a tree.
You have leaves and flowers which can also be your friends.
You have roots to protect you from falling.
And also, you are pretty.

But it's kind of sad;
That when the time comes you are going to be bald,
And that when the time comes you are going to die.
You'll be nothing but an ugly one.
And people will just forget and cut you.

there are too many favorites that I've had,
but your smile is my number one.

Once but always in the morning,
Sipping something hot and warm,
Dark and bitter,
But always fills the stomach.

It's already an another year
Or should we say a 'New Year'
But why are you still dwelling in the past?
When it is supposed to renew your life again.

In life, you must know how to accept
Not just accept, but to relive and renew your life--
especially when it's already New Year.
That's why--get a new life.

I was waiting
for the rain to fall.
'Coz I am tired of
being on a sunny day.
Because nothing could help
to please me and ease my pain.
But being on a rainy day
is a kind of heaven.
Because even if no one
touches your skin--
at least there's something
which could soothe and touches your bare skin.

Love is nothing--
but just a thing which used for people
to disguise and conceal themselves from a dumb reason.

I am always alone.
No one wants to be my playmate.
I can't be with a friend who only uses me.
And too much hatred which surrounded me every day and every moment.

Therefore I came to think that;
I should write things which are related to literature
So I captivated and motivated myself instead.
So I created a distance and time myself to write a poem.

I wrote numerous poems on my notebooks.
Every day on school, every thought that came into my mind which is special to me-- I will write it down.
Organizing it and choosing it which is I usually do.

When I am done writing all of it,
I am gonna make a poem-- but making a poem is actually hard to me,
But there's nothing I can do,
I'll just think too much and thorough.

I had to think for a title,
After being done on a title-- of course, I am covered with sweat,
But sweat does no matter to me,
Because I have classmates who are usually going to praise me.

They may seem not to be friendly with me,
At least I could have a time to enjoy,
Laughter and smiles are in my surrounding-- when they are reading,
After reading, all is done and gonna keep it for me to go home.

Going home isn't my priority and what's on my mind every day,
But there's nothing I can do as well-- but to go home.
My poems are kind of useless when I am only making to let my classmates read it,
So I decided to go on surfing on the internet.

I have found too many websites-- but no one got my interest,
Howbeit, after how many times-- I have found this website either page,
Read too many poems which are actually nice,
And the people here are so very nice.

After I have found this page and read numerous poems and comments,
It came to my mind-- that it is time for me to post these poems,
Maybe I'll have and gonna receive some worthy praises,
And HelloPoetry, you are my beloved buddy.

I ran away
Made sure that no one can chase my way
I halted
Then I heard a howl
I ran again
My sweat dropped
Then I halted again
Checked around
I saw nothing
I walked
Then I heard a mumbling and gossiping people
My nervousness appeared
I am full of sweat
I closed my eyes
Then I woke up
And snap,
It was just a spine-chilling nightmare.

behind every happiness in life,
there is also a sense of sadness.

Just a sole of looking at you,
I am in ecstasy already.

But,
you are already in ecstasy.
Not for me--
but for someone else.

I dreamed too much
and
I sought too much
yet it's about love that I dreamed and sought the most.

Of all many times I did,
I still ended up
falling on my own
stupidity
and
in the
abyss.