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284 · Feb 2020
Entranced Mind
Nolan Patterson Feb 2020
With dazzling colors that ensnare the mind
Twisting, turning away from each other
Escaping the form managed by mankind

Taking the freedom, they finally find
The solution for the observer
With dazzling colors that ensnare the mind

And clashing chaos creating the bind
That captures logic of practitioners
Escaping the form managed by mankind

No longer a beautiful gem find
But frustrations for a puzzle solver
With dazzling colors that ensnare the mind

With hands trying to break the bind
Reorganizing the scrambled color
That escaped the form managed by mankind

Until frustration leaves no hope behind
Will it finally find, freedom forever
With dazzling colors that ensnare the mind
Escaping the form managed by mankind
228 · Dec 2019
Unconditional Love
Nolan Patterson Dec 2019
Even when you are shattered
When nothing remains but shards of glass
Some people are willing to sweep you up
Gather you in a bucket
And slowly help glue you back together
That is unconditional love.

Even when the shards cut them
When everything you do seems to hurt them
They are still willing to keep help you
They work through their own pain
To help remediate yours
That is unconditional love

Even when it feels like you deserve nothing
When nothing and nobody seems to accept you
Those who love you welcome you with open arms
They surround you with their warmth
And continue to help you grow
Because that is unconditional love.
I know the rhythm in this isn't the greatest, but this sits strongly with me due to some recent events in my own life and I thought I should share how I see unconditional love.
219 · Jan 2020
Tick-Tock
Nolan Patterson Jan 2020
Tick Tock
The time is flying
Tick Tock
It's not stopping
Tick Tock
It keeps moving
Tick Tock
Why are you fighting

Tick Tock Tick Tock
What are you holding onto
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Why aren't you letting go
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Come on and just give in
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Time is gonna catch up

Tick Tock Tick
Is it really worth it
Tick Tock tick
You can't be loved
Tick Tock Tick
It won't hurt them
Tick Tock Tick
JUST GIVE UP

TICK

TOCK

TICK

TOCK

tick

tock

tick

tock
--------------­-
Whenever I start spiraling in my head i listen to a watch i have and the sound calms me down.
214 · Dec 2019
Shattered Mind
Nolan Patterson Dec 2019
They started off with with small taps
But then they came with giant axes
Chipping away at the foundation of sanity
Nothing seemed to be able to fix it.

I worked and worked to keep it stable
But nobody believed it was possible
The more I worked the more it cracked
As they went from manual to explosive means

Sticks of dynamite crammed into the cracks
As they said it was my fault I lack
They laughed as I began to fall
My hopes and dreams started to be shredded

As the foundation of sanity splintered
The shrapnel became scattered
As it cut up my mind
I lost all hope in mankind

Then nothing but despair remained
I began to turn and frayed
I hurt my sled and others
As anger filled my mind

The glass that was now my mind
Guided me to shred others and leave them behind
As my resentment turned others
Into the same mess as me
200 · Dec 2019
Society's Hierarchy
Nolan Patterson Dec 2019
Why am I not a royal
I work and try and stay loyal
Yet here I'm discarded
By the Kings and Queens
I can't even be a Jack or Ace

I'm nothing but entertainment
For those who think they are above
But what if the Joker
Was higher than them all

A combination of all minds
With strengths filled by others
Some call it a leech
Others see it as balance

Let me be free of your constraints
Or I will break free
Where the shrapnel lands is not up to me
But if it hurts you I'd be filled with glee

Watch as the your Jesters
Climb above you in laughter
As they begin to rule from above
And let the shame they once felt
Feel you with dread.
This was inspired by the Webtoon, "UNordiary," by uruchan.
180 · Mar 2020
No Longer
Nolan Patterson Mar 2020
What determines value?
What makes a dollar greater than a coin
Why does it feel like worth vanishes
From everything that matters
Why do others get to decide my value?
Why can I not move forward

I’m done listening to their words
I’m done allowing chains to hold me back
These weights that have held me down
Forged from the hammer of heavy words
And heated anger against something else
Will no longer hold me back
Because if they can decide my worth
Then I will decide how heavy the weight is.

No longer will their past weigh me down
No longer will it affect my actions
I’m done being afraid of the pain
I’m done being bound
By the sorrow and regret of others
Since I made their problems my burden
I did not allow myself to move forward
And instead follow in the shadows
Changing how I saw my worth
As their scars and damage was added to my own.
No longer did I shine like a silver dollar
But instead I became covered in dirt and hidden.
My apparent value decreasing with each lie I told myself

Well no longer will dirt of their problems
Blind my eyes and hide my glow
No longer shall their words
Fall heavy against the fire of pain
No longer shall they forge new weights and chains
But instead I will shine
My passion burning brighter
Than their pain from the past
As their crude and dark chains melt
And I forge them into a sword
That shines bright as I pave my own path into the future
Instead of following in their wake

No longer is my worth muddied by others
But instead is more than ever before
177 · Jan 2020
Loudly Silent
Nolan Patterson Jan 2020
Painfully loud my mind screams
Searching for an end to means
The chaos tries to bubble out of my mouth

Thousands of words form at once
Nothing seems to come but nonsense
Faster and faster my thoughts race
Throbbing pain, the only trace

All I want to do is yell
Yet there isn't anyone to tell
So maybe it's best I stay silent
Until my mind is not hell bent
Since it seems it's not possible to repent
162 · Feb 2020
Silent Star
Nolan Patterson Feb 2020
Why is life a cruel creature?
Why does it hate your joyous features?
Why does it try and hide you away,
In the darkness of space
Without anybodies trace?

How come it convinces you to hide yourself?
How come it convinces you not to cry?
How come  it convinces you to not rely
On those who are there to support you
When help is what you are due?

Life may want you to feel alone
In the empty void of space
Where life can lie and say you can't cry
As it won't matter;  since nobody is nearby
Life may want you to give up
If you can't shine bright every day.
But that is not what people who care say.

Don't worry about shining bright
Don't worry about staying warm
Just focus on your own fight
And let your friends stay in your sight
So they can help tend to your flame
Instead of letting it burn away.
All because life doesn't care.
Dedicated to my Shining Star
Who has helped me through so much
And I hope I can help her in the same.
155 · Dec 2019
Safety Proofing:
Nolan Patterson Dec 2019
You are a monster
Is what they said
A raging disaster
Left for dead
No hope left in sight
Might as well fly away like a kite

But hear you are now
Wading through the sea of broken glass
I don't get how
I think it's cuz of your cute sass
Now the glass has come together
To form a picture of sunny weather

No more shredding of good thoughts
No more painful stabs of regret
No more tight knots
No more hopeless bets
Because I am finally seeing a new perspective
And my mind has become passive

I feel safer in my mind
I feel happier in my body
I feel like being more kind
I don't want to be haughty
It's all thanks to you
And shaving away the sharp edges.
I wrote this as a two month anniversary gift of sorts to thank someone who helped me a lot and means the world to me.

— The End —