fingertips gently touching
heartbeats syncing to one
breaths of laughter, lust, anger
now I sit here, alone

coffee mug sharing
fighting over the remote
off-key screaming to songs on the radio
now I sit here, alone

hugging from behind
stealing of hats and sweatshirts
your scent, your voice, your warmth
now I sit here, alone

We all have our way with words
the way they drip from our throats and whisper through our skin
they are our darkness manifest
our shield from the night
We spin them dizzingly out into space
suffocate ourselves in their tightly-wound taste

I've been here before
I've been warned

I know what I'm getting into
When I pull at these threads
The loose ends in the wall of words
Ever protecting the story underneath

I want to unravel them
And see the human underneath
I don't care if our meanings disagree
I have a rule to dealing with other people
And that is respect whatever is shared and seen

There's no point to living if I'm to be scared of the ones I'm living with
I've chosen to throw caution to the wind
And let the stranger in.

I used to long for
metal doors
that melted
forming
pool like portals
to other worlds.

Places where monsters
roamed distorted landscapes,
where skies rained
drops of purple
forming portal puddles
that would take me
to places even farther
from my messed up family.

I dreamed of
adventures tempered by pain
cause I felt there must be
a balance to pay in my fantasies.

Scars for freedom,
bruises equaling
the level of love I deserved,
the level that would earn my
warrior princess’s affection.

Through proof of
unfair punishment
while wielding healing hands
I would help
other victims like myself.
Earning a redemption
that was never necessary.

How strange that even in
my fairytale dreams
I treated myself as unfairly
as the daytime beast
that left red marks on me.

But now that I have found peace
I no longer dream of
a troubled love like that.
I no longer feel I need to earn back
that dignity and tranquility
that was so brutally
stolen from this mother’s son.

No longer will i only
write for you
I know there may never be a
final piece about you
But no longer
will you be my only muse

This broken piece I still carry
the one that fits in the empty
space of your heart
has grown too heavy
and it's time
to leave it be

The time has come
for me to mend my heart
without your name slipping through
its cracks

I think i want to do something good to you
Something nice
something to show i care
I think i may even say i love you
I never meant it
i guess that is just ok
But do not be restrained
i am actually quite good
I may be super toxic
But i am addictive too
My soul means no real harm
my intentions are real pure
My love is never ending
there is nothing it can't cure
My senseless intoxications
Are just part of a the journey you may embark
Don't be afraid to show your insides
I can't promise i don't bite

Back then, I didn't understand what you said,
"You are thinking, instead of feeling"
"Woah that was deep", I answered back

And to be honest, until now
I'm still confused