I lost my black dog.

Today he came home.

I want you to open up my mind
Look past this life’s lies
Ask me what colour did I paint the sky
What does wind look like through my eyes
And what is this force that binds us together
Is it the same force that compels the earth and moon to dance forever
Ask me and I will describe the way the sky bends
They way the moon mends
Each and all of my wounds
You see my mind is a beautiful place
It’s a shame to see you let it go to waste

How long do you want me to wait
20 minuets 3 years
I hate myself
Because I know I’ll wait for you until death appears

I know ending us was mutual
so am I being cruel
when I think of you with her
and it still hurts.
Yet I know I flirt
with other guys
and I've moved on with my life.
But late at night
I think of your eyes,
how they held my universe,
how our sweet memories hurt
and how I just realized
your always on my mind
and I miss having you by my side.

addiction
breathe in, breathe out
open the bottle pour a glass
breathe in, scream and shout
how long did I last
drinking oceans hoping to drown
smoking fires hoping to choke
I am spiraling down
I won’t admit that I can’t cope

I am so confused.
Confusion is a precarious state.
I feel so depressed
into the oblivion of a thousand lethargies I plummet.

I don’t know how to let it out
From sadness I cannot rest
so it rolls on for perpetuity.
It rolls on unexpressed

I could slice my flesh
Paint a beautiful artwork with red
but I’m so tired.

I could eat my feelings, then purge,
Until my stomach aches, hands shake
but I’ve already done that.

I could lash out in an epoch
of hidden rebellion
but I can’t escape my fortress of living hell.

There are no ways out

I don’t have the motivation to exist.
I don’t have the motivation to breathe
But I’m too tired to sleep
I’m too tired to die.

I am supressed  
I am oppressed
I am depressed.