I think we've found
an understanding
A common ground
Island in sea
I dont want you to feel shorted
So listen to me now
This is so important

When it comes to you and comes to me
I know there was uncertainty
But I also know how things are now
What we feel is more than what we usually allow
ourselves
And Its okay to let it come
And I could tell that you just wanted someone

So let me in you're the only one who can
I may be the only one who understands
Its okay to not have a plan
Its enough to simply be a man

I've never wanted
Something more
Don't hide the flaws
That I adore
No need to try
And fit a mold
These are more than just
Some words I've told

And I know that
You're very smart
But you embrace the brain
And hide from heart
I've hurt you, and you've hurt me back
For egos sake and what we lack

We can't take back all the mistakes
But Amy said
Its where you're at, not where you've been
And Its okay to let it come
And I could tell that you just wanted someone

So let me in you're the only one who can
I may be the only one who understands
Its okay to not have a plan
Its enough to simply be a man

I don't want to run your life
Or even be your wife
As much as I just want you to know
That I empathize
Its intimidating when something feels so good
Scared it isn't healthy or that you neglect the things you should
But you can't deny
And I would never lie

So let me in you're the only one who can
I may be the only one who understands
Its okay to not have a plan
Its enough to simply be a man

Its okay to let it come
I could tell that you just wanted someone
Its okay to let it come
I could tell that you just wanted someone

Can't talk about, can't write about, a single thing but loving you
Don't mean to schmooze, my shameless muse, always down for aimless cruise
stare through window glass at tunnel lights that zoom straight past our heads
I walk on air, dodge solar flares, ignites my mind when I'm in bed

I can't stop, cotton to moth
brushstrokes swirl upon the backdrop
slumping over center console
dream about centaurs and scary monsters
shake me awake and tell me its okay
I know it is but it feels better that way

And I feel a nostalgia a sense of old security
the same I got when I was young and fell asleep to the TV
underneath the afghan with unwravled threads and fraying ends
hold onto me while I nitpick the same old **** inside my head

I can't stop, cotton to moth
brushstrokes swirl upon the backdrop
slumping over center console
dream about centaurs and scary monsters
shake me awake and tell me its okay
I know it is but it feels better that way

Tell me baby is it true?
Should I ride or die for you?
can I be your passenger?
or do you find me lackluster?
I can't let it be the thought of you and me
scared that our future is tragic history
and every time I find myself ready to shift gears
something holds me back, some aching type of fear

I can't stop, cotton to moth
brushstrokes swirl upon the backdrop
slumping over center console
dream about centaurs and scary monsters
shake me awake and tell me its okay
I know it is but it feels better that way

You're the thorn in my side
The smoke in my eye
You clipped both my wings
To be sure I won't fly
I hope it makes you happy
I truthfully do
To pick on those that are smaller than you

I'll be okay I'll be alright
I hope when you self reflect
You see that look in my eyes
When you kicked sand in my face
And pressed my head in the dirt
Alone in that sad empty place
How's it feel to hurt?

They say it comes back to you
They say its in 3's
If thats true
I'll be the queen
And you'll be begging on your knees
What's that? I can't hear you
Because you never heard me

The echo chamber of what we were supposed to be
So ******* physically
emotionally
mentally
Now I'm the one who's cold cruel and callous
coincidentally
Because I rose from the ashes of what I once was
And I did it without using others. Not once.

Self destructive, the way I always lived
can't take care of myself
I need somebody else
I'm not proud of the things I've done
I get drunk and I get stuck on having fun
its a curse and I'm sure I do it all
to avoid all the noise and how much I fall

but you believe in me
and its not at all hard to see
you are something else
you help me build a better version of myself
baby you made me, baby you saved me
I appreciate you, and all the little things you make sure I do
have no idea what you saw in me
you help me see who I'm meant to be
so I'll roll the dice, put my drink on ice
pretend I'm not a wreck
I get myself together, I'm not out of the game yet

Here we are it's pouring rain
I wait with baited breath
And fight the urge to choreograph
my delightful dance of death
hesitant to play again
because I always lose
but I cannot say no to you
so tell me, what's the use?

but you believe in me
and its not at all hard to see
you are something else
you help me build a better version of myself
baby you made me, baby you saved me
I appreciate you, and all the little things you make sure I do
have no idea what you saw in me
you help me see who I'm meant to be
so I'll roll the dice, put my drink on ice
pretend I'm not a wreck
I get myself together, I'm not out of the game yet

tell me, are you a gamblin' man?
or prudent with your bets
do you crown the middle ground
repay all your debts
maybe we could take the risk
50/50 go all in
because all I've ever wanted
is to someday, finally win

but you believe in me
and its not at all hard to see
you are something else
you help me build a better version of myself
baby you made me, baby you saved me
I appreciate you, and all the little things you make sure I do
have no idea what you saw in me
you help me see who I'm meant to be
so I'll roll the dice, put my drink on ice
pretend I'm not a wreck
I get myself together, I'm not out of the game yet

You're always asking me if I'm okay
And I always keep my answers vague
two thumbs way up, I hide my face
eyes cemented shut, just another day

stumble down the stairway
eating out gourmet
don't need a lifejacket in a sea of cabernet,
(You okay?, Hey Rach?)
been a few days since I've had a taste
indentations in the blankets traced

so I sit around, I don't mind the wait
daydream until I leave this place
Always chasing sensations and feelings
sedation isn't quite the same as healing
so I head to the gas station freewheeling
fading and melting into silent sightseeing

You're so special, a wild flame meeting petrol
you don't love me, you love everyone
I'm accidental, not fundamental
so I watch it burn until it's overdone

You're explosive, and I'm corrosive
we probably shouldn't do this
but when has anything interesting
happened from doing what we should've

Skip through the lushest meadow
hope and pray I don't get stung
I tiptoe, I tiptoe
I'm afraid of bees and bugs

When these words turn to songs and symphonies
and you're just a mental stain
you'll regret the way you treated me
and all the things you've said
I'm destined to do it big
and even if I don't
I deserve better and I'll get it, cutthroat

do you see it in me?
I don't care if you do
I've wasted so many days
wondering about you

so I'll close my laptop shut
and hustle through the night
I never believed in me
I never felt quite right

but the pain can be channeled in ways you don't realize
and the gain through it all will be my pretty prize

Let it flow, direct it, connect it, project it
don't let anyone else's opinion affect it
you're perfect, you're worth it, rebirth it
trade nothing on this planet earth for it
and then give it all back to the world, return it
got a bad thought? do what you can to deter it

You're meant for more than you're willing to tell
make sure you take care of yourself
only shower in hot water and affection
stop hanging yourself
on unreturned attention
if you're unsure about someone
focus on you for awhile
and when you're feeling at your lowest
force a brilliant smile
it will get better
as long as you leave bed
emotionally dead
but steady getting ahead

I don't have time for petty pursuits
And you've taught me that most people don't tell the truth
so my course of action
is the opposite of you

I'm so done with praising others
raising them above
with my love
a surrogate mother
the umbilical cord rots
knots block off outside approval
I've got the tools of the trade
for an at home removal

do you recall
the crunch beneath our feet
a gesture small
as we ambled down the street
dirt and gravel
I felt pebbles through my shoe
I unravelled
When I looked at you

Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face

Sunlight peaked through maple branches
in such a tranquil way
missed chances to make advances
I always hoped you'd stay
a fork in the road ahead
we went different directions
I used many different methods
to try and snag your attention
Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face

you never seemed to notice
you just stared ahead
heart bloomed as if a lotus
while I tugged at a loose thread
sometimes I'd begin to speak
but choked upon my words
so I walked next to you without a peep
and together watched the birds

Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face

it's odd and super subtle
the synchronicity
insignificant and pointless
yet means the world to me
quiet walks every afternoon
past the garage and dead leaves
we watched the starlings courtship
do you remember me?

Where did you come from
Are you real?
Is this how I’m supposed to feel?
A dreamgirl
In a dreary place
I’ve counted every freckle on your face