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May 2020 · 112
F.R.E.E
Rishawn May 2020
my skin welcomes a forgotten itch
the grass is softer than I remember
Ripe with morning dew and yet I bath in the summer sun
Look up to see my happiness
in the form of tom, **** and harry
friends to the core as we laugh and we smile
it has truly been a while
I take a moment and leave the group
as I contemplate why i'm happy at this time
Its because I am away
I am unplugged
I am off the grid
I am free of stress
I am at the mercy of my friends
and I am weightless
May 2020 · 103
Contemplation
Rishawn May 2020
What's harder to resolve..
alone while alone
or smothered when together?

Can my "self love" provide me the warmth of a hug
or the rush of kiss
what about the safety in a hand hold
or the depth of sincerity in eye contact?

It is a blatant no

What I do have is tranquility of self
freedom to pursue
hinges released and shackles removed

The runway is now clear
as my wings spread and the wheels pull in
the air is clear and the journey seems limitless

but where am I going that I need to land there alone?
I'm convinced the journey is my happiness
so should i fear the destination?
May 2020 · 438
Mirror
Rishawn May 2020
She wasn't right for me
Tell her that
I can't
Yes you can
Why choose to hurt who you love the most?
Because lying to sooth your soul is violating the pureness of her love
So be honest?
Tell your truth, share your story and choose to love yourself
What if there is pain?
Life is suffering, highs can only be felt once lows are known
I wish I was as strong as you
You are talking to me and I am you, its in you to be free, if you let me be you and you be me
May 2020 · 358
Dissonance
Rishawn May 2020
the hardest fight to win
is the one that is forever raging
an inch never taking

no man's land is your residence
you can only proceed with hesitance
as this battle your fighting is you against you
and its filled with dissonance

turbulent thoughts
eddy flows and countercurrent desires
your mind is afloat in a sea of indecision
waiting for a vision
of clarity
Where is my north star?
My guiding light
to help me on my mission
to make this decision

I keep wrestling with my ambition
and my desire for submission
to my guilty side
unobliging
not hiding
never shying
from the chance to take all my time
and burn it with relaxation

a win for the soul but a loss for the mind
why sleep now when I have the rest of time?
but never slowing will the dim the glowing
of the creative ember lighting the way
and you never want to see that day
when it fades away

so take your time, let your stress wash away
let the good times play
maybe even pray?

Life is there tomorrow
you are here today
May 2020 · 259
Pain
Rishawn May 2020
Broken
Shattered
Spirt is tattered
and I cant stand eat or breath
this world, sometimes, I just want relief
Im sad
Im hurt
im afraid

my face is soaked
its raining inside
im laughing bc its my eyes that are lying
im bleeding tears

i was happy and then it hit
now im falling into a pit
who do i ask when there is no one to tell
Oh i feel so unwell

Help me please im begging please
take away the unease
i have people to please

there is light all around and i can see it
Im near it
I feel it
i want it
but i cant reach it

its not mine today, today i am pain
tomorrow i may be me or i am be someone new
im unsure who pain will make me
i just know, what people will see, will be un true

I need you and i dont know who you are
but me, i cant do this alone
im scared, im afraid
im pain
im mundane
May 2020 · 321
Lover Boy
Rishawn May 2020
frigid, fragile, flustered

unrecognizably nervous
unsure
unrealistic

my name? what could it be
lover boy

Im just her toy
play with me? only when it works for you

lay me down to charge, you've got a new fascination

but where would I like to be?
nowhere else but next to thee

its inescapable my love for you
idiotic, irreversible and irrational

yet im your lover boy

it comes down to a smile
when i spend time with you
even if not a while
my ***** turn blue

lust, trust, i hope you dont ever see me with disgust

not sure if i could handle it

woah woah who am I ?

I'm your lover boy

set me free or be with me

set me free or be with me

leave me be or set me free
if you cant bear to be with me
May 2020 · 115
Words
Rishawn May 2020
Hardest to find when in need
Can bleed out of thee when
silence is the key

These joyous instruments are models of expression
hold you back or set you free
if you can handle their potential
they are dangerous
but oh how beautiful they can be

Of course its words that I mean

they say nothing in life is free

love
pain
greif
joy

the cost of harnessing these
or living through them is incalculable

but saying them
aloud
expressing emotions
through these simple letters
is powerful

yet their complexity can be captured
by these words

That's the richness that I need
May 2020 · 720
People Need People
Rishawn May 2020
Uncertainty is terrifying
Indefinite is paralyzing
Isolation is immobilizing

We take these terms in stride
as we know of the greater struggle
yet the fear of fear itself is not a source of pride

Feel the stress, endure the hardship
and remember there is a family here
that will be there for kinship

What is coming is unknown
what has happened is not overblown
How we move forward will make a noise that resounds

Lets band together and rise
Ensure we mitigate a demise
Keep away and safe
but not alone
not
without good faith
May 2020 · 133
Excitement
Rishawn May 2020
As the first rays of day bleed into my window near
a grin creeps onto my face as I think of what I hold dear.
Its easy to hold sorrow
when the darkness is engulfing.
Forget not, the sun will rise tomorrow

What we have is the chance to be excited
all of the passion and fires in you ignited.
So I want to bid adieu to you
my timid soul
and welcome in the grace of joy.

As I was once a boy
who used to dream, lets find that youth
and play with the old toys.
So if the question is to be shy or to speak
take the chance, humans are never so bleak.

As the words pour out of our vessel of speech.
Remember.
These joyous instruments are models of expression
hold you back or set you free.
If you can handle their potential
they are dangerous
but oh how beautiful they can be.

I am that I am.
To be or not be.
Powerful phrases that have inspired me.

— The End —