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Pixievic Feb 2016
That screaming banshee
That lives inside
Forever taunting
Feasting on insecurity
Devouring the good
Promoting the bad

Self blaming

The you're worthless voice
You'll amount to nothing
Who the hell told you you could do it anyway
You are I N S I G N I F I C A N T
Just a waste of space

The you deserve this voice
Take yourself away
Make room for the people who really matter
Where is your warrior now?
She has deserted you too
She was never really your ally......

Pull the pin

Just do it .......  

P  u  l l   T h e   P  i  n

Tick, tick, tick......

Wait!
A whisper
Heard like a faint echo
From across the desert
Breathing, pulsating, awake

Walk away from the cliff edge
Eyes open
To truly see
The monsters that live inside
Weeping
Let it out
Find it within
It's there
Hiding
Give it
Life
Love
And
Just be


(C) Pixievic 2016
I had a bad day yesterday!! But thanks to a few good people whose whisper  I heard, I came back from the edge - I thank you **❤️❤️
  Feb 2016 Pixievic
Bianca Reyes
You were never to blame
For it was I who wrapped
myself around your finger
The warmth there pleased me
It was I who chose to eat
Off the palm of your hand
Everything tasted better there
Shared on Hello Poetry on February 2, 2016
Copywrite under Bianca Reyes
All rights reserved
Blah blah blah
Enjoy!
Pixievic Feb 2016
For Ben

My heart breaks for you
My baby boy
Your world has fallen down
My soul cries out for you my love
I can't kiss away your frown
It's been an uphill struggle
But you are not to blame
I understand your life now
Will never be the same
One day I hope that you will see
That all of this is best
Until you do, it will be hard
It's one of life's cruel tests
You'll always be my baby boy
That will never change
My love for you grows stronger
Though dad & I are estranged
You do not need to choose
One of us to love the most
We will always love you
Remember that foremost
I wish it could be different
That we could have made it work
That your life did not have changes
That you had not been hurt
Please be kind to yourself my love
Do not let this be
The unmaking of your excellence
That I could not bare to see
I will always be here for you
I'll always be your mum
Forever loving you my love
In all the years to come

(C) Pixievic 2016
The hardest thing I've ever had to do as a parent was to tell my son his dad & I were getting a divorce. He is & always will be my one true love I hope one day he'll forgive us & understand.
Pixievic Feb 2016
Dear God - are you there?
Dear God - are you listening?
Dear God - I need you

Dear God - have you left me?
Dear God - I can't hear you!
Dear God - I am alone

Dear God - what's he doing?
Dear God - I am frightened!
Dear God - this hurts!

Dear God - how could you?
Dear God - I was a child!
Dear God.... *******!

(C) Pixievic 2016
Written as part of my healing process  - I never did find God again
  Feb 2016 Pixievic
Koggeki
--------------------

When red ran from the sand.

From the depths, rose a creature quite old.
Solemn and slow, not a care to be bold
It anchored itself, and gave no expression
The strength of its shell, shook in depressions
Tall extensions: its lifeblood, its protection.
Found scattered, on its shell, in cert’n sections.

The pride of Madagascar—the creature by name—
Are Rosewood and Ebony now mangled and maimed.

--------------------

When red ran from his hand.

Trees are felled, and the humans displace:
Lemurs are losing, they can’t find their space.
Hear the creature wail, its shell echoes with grief—
The sounds of its guests, find little relief.
For its pride is valued, and cut for a price
Hard decisions made—it is life’s device.

Wooden splinters bite back trading flesh to save flesh.
Living masses are caught in our culture’s great mesh.

---------------------

When red in hand and land.

Oceans to flood, new depths to behold
Our desires to fill, balk: “Don’t let them fold!”
She tires of our, meandering session;             
Beating-out paths, to varied oppressions.
Laugh at the onslaught, of one great convection!
As humans propel, in that direction…

In all this, Gaia shrugs, naked-apes are to blame.
Fruiting, of hand and land, need-be one and the same!

---------------------
I mean to use Madagascar as a vehicle to express some of my compounded frustrations. Above all, this poem is an address to all our fellow ***** sapiens*. If we insist on digging our own grave then so be it. The earth will spiral on with or without us, and that is the simplest truth... if there is such a thing. We might think less about our inalienable right to plunder, and more about the stewardship of diverse lifeforms if we truly care for our lineage. People have been beating this drum for so long, who cares--right? I defer to Kurt Vonnegut: "Had I been a Bokononist  then, pondering the miraculously intricate chain of events that had brought dynamite money to that particular tombstone company, I might have whispered, 'Busy, busy, busy." *Busy, busy, busy,* is what we Bokononists whisper whenever we think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is" (from *Cat's Cradle,* pages 65-6). At the end of the day, we do what we feel we must... busy, busy, busy...
Pixievic Feb 2016
Your words used to thrill
Your words once held me tight, but
Now your words scream lies

(C) Pixievic 2016
I've never written a Haiku before ....... I welcome advice & feed back please!! :) **
Pixievic Feb 2016
Drinking cider
Late into the night
Then homemade *****
By candle light
Seemed such a
Wonderful idea

Until today

Alas I fear
My pile of paper
Will not shrink
The ***** dishes
Are still in the sink
The washing machine
Is far too loud
My head is firmly
In the clouds
The morning has
Just run away
I really wish
That I could stay
Curled up in bed
With nought but dreams
Navel gazing
In the sunbeams

Such Bliss......

But alas
I know I should
Move my ***
And get on
With things mundane
And really try
To engage my brain

Maybe

Just one more cup
Of coffee - black
Will wake me up
And some tunes
To dance around
Just in my pants
That pumping sound.....

No more of this
Up up she cries
I shall conquer
No compromise
In just a tick
Just one more minute
I'll will get up
And get on with it.....

And yet still
I'm here upon my bed
Making excuses
Just resting my head
And writing rhymes

But that won't do
Right
She's up!
Phew....

(C) Pixievic 2016
All the best laid plans .....!
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