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Jun 2018 · 139
What to do?
Leah Jun 2018
What to do
What to do
A constant thought
What to do
I don't want to think
I want to do
But i'm paralyzed by the sight of you
I want to do
I want to do
What's best for me
What's best for you
But what to do
Oh, what to do
I'm lost
I'm scared
Of losing you
But I don't know
What to do
I don't know
What to do
May 2018 · 39
The Dandelion dilemma
Leah May 2018
Dandelions are pretty
But my father said they are weeds
He pulled them out of the earth
And threw them out

But she told me that my father was wrong
That dandelions aren’t weeds
That they are beautiful
And yet some people can't see that
Because like me, their fathers taught them wrong
She said it wasn't wrong for me to think they are beautiful
It wasn't wrong to blow their little seeds
making sure my parents didn't see
Because some people are taught to stay away from beauty

In reality dandelions don't steal nutrients
Rather they nourish the plants around them
With their wide roots that pull from deep within the earth
And share with everyone they meet  

They make the world happy
And the grass greener

They are beautiful

You made me happy
So I gave you a dandelion that I picked from the earth
I cut it from the stem just for you
But you didn't take it
You thought it was a ****

I tried again
Because I remembered what she told me
“Dandelions aren’t weeds”
“They are beautiful”
But when you took my flower
You dropped it on the concrete

You too, were taught that dandelions are weeds
But the difference is:
you let yourself believe it’s true
May 2018 · 55
My life isn't fiction
Leah May 2018
My life isn't fiction
Though it may seem that way
When things just line up on the right time on the right day
To create something radiant
And wonderful
And pure
My life isn't fiction
Cause there's one thing that i'm sure:

The end isn't written
fate can always change
And im the only one
Who can control what's on each page
the other day i was told i was living in a real life movie. I always try to put the pieces together.
May 2018 · 170
I built myself a home
Leah May 2018
I built myself a home
Made of pieces of me
Made of things I saw
And things I felt

I built myself a home
Only using what I needed
Only using what was there
And only what was exceptional

I built myself a home
Long before I was old enough to know  
Long before I was old enough to see
What it was like to love the ones around me

I built myself a home
Because I wanted nothing to do with anyone else
Because I wanted it to just be me and the earth
I built it because I didn't know

I didn't know what was beyond those trees
I didn't know who was in those houses
But I knew the forest
And I knew myself

I built myself a home
It was safe
It was still
And It was enough for me

I built myself a home
But seasons change
And water flows
And the tide carries you somewhere new

Somewhere new to build a home
Maybe now I can grow
Maybe now I don't have to be alone

Maybe now I can build a home
For you
a poem about my childhood
May 2018 · 124
Leah May 2018
Right before she broke my heart I said to her
“You know, there is beauty to be found in gloom and despair. It's just a different type of beautiful”

There is something beautiful in the pain we feel
There is something magnificent in heartbreak
And something glorious in grief

There is beauty in the departure of beauty
The absence is its own beautiful
It leaves like a strong gust of wind through the moors
Wiping away the color as it passes

There is beauty in transition
The realization as a woman's face drops
When she hears the news of her husband's death
You can see the color, and the hope flush out
as she realizes this new reality

There is beauty in the real
There is no such thing as perfection
To be the most perfect, there must be pain
And all pain leads to love

There is beauty in rebirth
The tree that drops her seeds
Not only to die
But to grow a new beautiful
Sprouting from the ashes of the destroyed hearts before it
Leah May 2018
I don't want you to love me
That was never the goal

I want you to believe me
And everything I say
I want you to see what I see
When I look into your eyes
I want you to hear what I hear
When you open your mouth

I just want to love you
So you can love yourself
Apr 2018 · 176
Leah Apr 2018
My brain is not a puzzle piece
Its tangled strings of thought
You are not here to put me back together
I am here to simply untangle myself
Each tangled string is complete and strong
They shine with bright colors of the rainbow
It's truly beautiful

My brain is not that of the ones around me
It is my abstract painting
Placed in a museum with a crowd of young and old
Some say it's not art
And grunt as they walk by
While others jot down ideas
On how to perfect their own piece

My brain is truly and thoroughly my own
My own to shape
And my own to love
Thoughts on my struggle with Aspergers and bipolar disorder
Apr 2018 · 129
Fight or Flight
Leah Apr 2018
My Instincts are kicking in
They are telling me to run
But my legs are sore and my lungs are weak
They are tired from worry
They are tired from anticipation
My eyes are open when it's time to sleep
My teeth are bared when it's time to eat
Its fight or flight
In this world of mine
And this time
I'm the meat
Cheetahs and I have much in common
Apr 2018 · 122
Anthem of the Annoying
Leah Apr 2018
If I could do it
Id cut my tongue
Clean off like a slice of meat
If I couldn't feel it
Id pull out my teeth
Leaving holes where the pain used to be
If no one would know
Id erase my brain
And brush away all traces of me
Keeping only the plain and the safe
Id join the world
And they’d love my song
They would cheer and clap their hands
They would sing along to The Anthem of the Annoying
Apr 2018 · 110
Leah Apr 2018
Every moment with her was a page in a book
So surreal and whimsical
The world revolved around her
And the weather changed at her command
She was a celestial being
With all the power in her hands
To shape my story

Her words painted pictures
Her voice sounded like a song
Her face was perfectly sculpted
Like a true work of art

Every day with her was another chapter
Every moment a new page
But it was just a short story
And all stories end

You get so immersed in its beauty you forget the world exists
But it stopped too soon
You wanted a novel
You want to read more
But that wasn't  the author's intention
Apr 2018 · 49
The last time
Leah Apr 2018
The last time I was here everything was different
But nothing has changed
This is the last time
I promise
Apr 2018 · 115
Unfortunate Imagination
Leah Apr 2018
The imagination is almost dangerous
We possess such an amazing power to fabricate realities in our own minds
But those realities aren't real
They are made up
They exist to give us false expectations of the life we live
They exist to cope with the world around us but all it does is pull us farther and farther from ourselves
So many creative geniuses have been driven to insanity due to their own brain power
The fabrications **** our bodies
We become more than our skin but we have nothing to ground us
I fear that one day I will suffer the same fate of the creative minds before me
To forget who I am and replace it with who I wish I was
Not realizing I'm destroying myself
All due to my unfortunate imagination
Apr 2018 · 123
Selfish Selflessness
Leah Apr 2018
Human nature is inherently selfish
All things we feel and all things we crave
Can all be traced back to the need for survival and the craving of joy
Even the kindest of people are kind for themselves
Even being selfless is a selfish act
But it truly doesn't matter
Because the reasons for our actions are nothing in comparison to what we do
Kindness is what we do
Not why we do it
Apr 2018 · 1.0k
Get lost with me
Leah Apr 2018
Get lost with me
Let's disappear together
Let's stray so far that we are all we see
Let's forget how to get home
And let's let ourselves be free
Get lost in my eyes
Give yourself to the earth
Give yourself to me
For this moment nothing else exists
For this moment the past and the future don't matter
Let's live in the moment
Let's live by the touch of our hands
Let's live by the gentle breeze
And let's let it carry us away
Get lost with me
Apr 2018 · 753
Leah Apr 2018
You left me with the taste of nicotine
Like the cig you smoked as you sat me down
Somber and silent
The bench below us was rotting
And the clouds, were layered in shades of grey
The forest was silent as I heard you breathe
A breath that had been held the whole walk there
The breath of Someone who knew what was coming next
You knew what you had to do

The exhale of smoke brought out the words
Your tone struck a fire in my heart
But it was not like the fire you ignited the day we met
Or the warm flame I felt when we kissed
This fire burnt me
Like the end of the cigarette you held In your shaking hand
The words fell out of your mouth almost too easily
My heart dropped
I was shocked
I was scared
I was lost

You flicked the ashes and looked up at me
The pain in your eyes only made it worse
You didn’t want to do this
You didn’t want to see me cry
As my tears fell, so did the rain
The rain that had been looming all day
A poem about a recent breakup
Apr 2018 · 128
Ladybugs in my mouth
Leah Apr 2018
There are ladybugs in my room
They've always been there
At first I found them pretty
But it's hard to change with them around

There are ladybugs in my bed
They stay with me when I sleep
Im careful not to crush them
But it's hard to move with them around

There are ladybugs in my mouth
Im sorry
They tickle my tongue
It's hard to breathe with them around

“Ladybugs are good luck.”
“You can't **** ladybugs.”

There are ladybugs in my eyes
I can't stop them from falling
Im sorry
Im sorry
It's hard to love with them around

“Ladybugs are good luck.”
A poem to go along with a pair of illustrations

— The End —